When Parents Become the “OCD Police” (And What to Do Instead)
AT Parenting Survival | Raising Kids with OCD & Anxiety
Natasha Daniels: Child Therapist, Child Anxiety and OCD Expert, Parenting Coach and Parent
4.9 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 19 May 2026
⏱️ 49 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Watching our kids struggle with OCD can feel overwhelming, exhausting, and emotionally draining. When we understand OCD and begin recognizing compulsions more clearly, many of us naturally shift from accommodating behaviors… to hyper-focusing on every compulsion, reassurance loop, and avoidance pattern.
This is what I call becoming the “OCD police.”
In this episode, I explore how parents can unintentionally move from helping to over-monitoring, constantly pointing out compulsions, questioning behaviors, and trying to control OCD at every turn. While this often comes from a place of deep love and fear, hypervigilance can damage trust, increase shame, and create communication breakdowns.
I discuss why becoming the OCD police can backfire, how it may cause kids to hide symptoms or shut down, and why managing OCD isn’t about catching every compulsion.
Most importantly, I break down what to do instead.
You’ll learn how to shift from policing to coaching, how to prioritize the compulsions that involve you, when to push, when to pause, and how to build skills without sacrificing connection.
If you are a parent who feels stuck between accommodating and over-correcting, this episode will help you find the middle ground that truly supports healing.
Resources Discussed on Episode:
When to Push and When to Pause
www.childocdtherapist.com/power-of-the-pause/
SPACE Study Course
www.atparentingsurvivalseries.com/space/
AT Parenting Community
Pulling Back OCD Accommodations
www.childocdtherapist.com/pulling-back-ocd-accommodations/
Trust and Communication
www.childocdtherapist.com/trust-and-communication/
How to Help Kids with Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors
www.childocdtherapist.com/how-to-address-picking-and-pulling-behaviors/
***
This podcast episode is sponsored by NOCD. NOCD provides online OCD therapy in the US, UK, Australia and Canada. To schedule your free 15 minute consultation to see if NOCD is a right fit for you and your child, go to
https://go.treatmyocd.com/at_parenting
This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be used to replace the guidance of a qualified professional.
Parents, do you need more support?
🌸 Here’s are resources I offer parents 👇🏻❤️
Online classes for parents raising kids with anxiety and OCD:
https://atparentingsurvivalschool.com
Join the AT Parenting Community (A membership designed to support parents raising kids with anxiety or OCD):
https://atparentingcommunity.com
Take one of my FREE webinars:
www.Natashadaniels.com/webinars
Check out my books:
🌸 Other social places I hang out:
http://www.facebook.com/ATparentingSurvival
http://www.pinterest.com/ATparentingSurvival
http://www.instagram.com/ATparentingSurvival
http://www.twitter.com/Parentingsurvival
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Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the AT Parenting Survival Podcast, |
| 0:06.0 | where you get help and guidance through the chaos |
| 0:08.8 | of parenting a child with anxiety or OCD. |
| 0:12.0 | This show is for educational purposes |
| 0:14.3 | and is not intended to replace the guidance |
| 0:16.5 | of a qualified professional. |
| 0:18.6 | Here's your host, child therapist, Natasha Daniels. Well, hello there, |
| 0:23.4 | and welcome to another episode of the AT Parenting Survival Podcast. Today we're going to be talking |
| 0:29.4 | about something that I struggle with and most parents who are raising kids with mental health |
| 0:36.2 | issues struggle with, in particular with |
| 0:39.1 | OCD. And that's when we become what I call the OCD police. When we are hypervigilant, |
| 0:46.0 | we are micromanaging, we are scanning and watching and observing for any OCD behaviors. And I'm going to talk today about what that looks |
| 1:00.2 | like in detail. We'll talk about why it's not helpful. And we'll talk about what to do instead. |
| 1:07.4 | And honestly, as I was thinking about this episode, I was thinking, okay, there is the |
| 1:10.9 | OCD police. But I feel like I am the executive functioning police. I am the anxiety police. |
| 1:18.2 | I'm the health police. I'm the self-esteem police. I'm the suicidal ideation police. |
| 1:24.0 | So even though we're going to talk about OCD, I want you to know that this goes way above |
| 1:29.8 | and beyond that, that when we parent from a hypervigilant space and perspective, we become the |
| 1:38.1 | mental health police. We become the executive functioning police. We become that helicopter parent |
| 1:43.6 | for mental health. It comes from a |
| 1:46.2 | good place. And I'm speaking from my own experience, being a professional mom police officer. |
| 1:53.3 | I get it. And it's something that I work on on a daily basis to not be. But before we jump into today's episode, I do want to thank NoCD for sponsoring |
... |
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