When Our Kids Reject Us (A Step-By-Step Response)

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

JLML Press

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.7 • 3.8K Ratings

🗓️ 5 July 2023

⏱️ 36 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

A single mom writes that her spirited five-year-old “has found a new voice and physicality” lately, calling her names, hitting, and taunting her “to try to get a rise." This mom attempts to remain unruffled and contain her anger and sadness during these episodes, but she's wondering if her controlled response is making matters worse. Janet offers six steps for responding to her son in a more connected manner that she hopes will alleviate the behavior. She then applies these same steps to two other situations where parents describe how their kids are rejecting their efforts to engage and saying hurtful things: One whose toddler daughter is grieving the recent loss of her grandmother; another whose 6-year-old daughter reacts to her mother’s corrections with self-loathing statements like "I"m stupid, I don't want you to love me, I'm just the worst." Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, this is Janet Lansbury.
0:04.0	Welcome to UnRuffled.
0:06.2	Today I'm going to be addressing three questions
0:09.8	from parents all around the topic of their child.
0:14.4	Rejecting them, saying strong words to them,
0:17.5	or about themselves, showing that they're angry
0:21.2	or very upset and pushing the parent away.
0:25.9	These parents are all concerned about the state
0:28.9	of their relationship they're having with their child,
0:31.0	and are asking what they can do to respond to these behaviors
0:37.0	in a manner that gives their child what they need
0:40.3	and helps them to be comfortable and feel close again.
0:44.8	And the first of these parents asks for a step-by-step.
0:48.8	So although that's not always my MO,
0:51.9	I came up with a step-by-step that I believe
0:55.5	applies to all of these situations.
0:59.2	Parenting can be physically and mentally exhausting.
1:05.8	It's all consuming, right?
1:07.5	Yes, we love this work, but we're always on call.
1:10.7	We give so much.
1:12.2	We really have a moment to think about our own well-being.
1:15.1	Most of the time we're making it up as we go along.
	...

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