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The Longest Shortest Time

When Mommy Boobs Go Viral

The Longest Shortest Time

Hillary Frank | Realm

Kids & Family, Sexuality, Health & Fitness, Parenting

4.74.2K Ratings

🗓️ 31 July 2019

⏱️ 29 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Jessica Rose Schrody makes parody raps about motherhood beloved by everyone from Viola Davis to Beyoncé’s Mom. … Join LST+ for community and access to You Know What, another show in the Longest Shortest universe! Follow us on Instagram Website: longestshortesttime.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey, I'm Elizabeth McHoddo, your new temporary producer while our regular producer Jackie is

0:12.3

on maternity leave because, good news, she had our baby.

0:16.8

We have pictures of her new family at our Instagram page at longest shortest time.

0:22.3

So just a quick heads up, today's show involves some adult language and themes.

0:28.2

You'll like it.

0:30.4

When Jessica was 17, she decided to take her paycheck from Coldstone Creamery and spend it on taking the GED.

0:37.0

She didn't want to go to high school anymore.

0:39.0

She wanted to party all night and scoop ice cream all day.

0:42.6

I have legit work that every single ice cream shop like in the San Fernando Valley.

0:46.2

And I've quit every single one very dramatically.

0:49.6

I worked at Coldstone.

0:50.8

My first job was at Baranaki DeoGurt.

0:53.6

And then after Baranaki DeoGurt, I went to Hogging Doss and Nestle Toll House.

0:58.0

Like it was just back-to-back ice cream shops.

1:00.6

Back then, her biggest gripe was what kind of candy people wanted mixed into their ice cream.

1:05.4

When you order Snickers at Coldstones, it's like the ultimate form of disrespect.

1:08.6

It's the hardest candy. All of that candy is so frozen.

1:12.0

She even tried to leave ice cream at some point, but couldn't.

1:15.2

I didn't get hired at Subway because they told me I didn't have enough sandwich making experience.

1:21.4

I was sitting in that interview I was like,

1:24.0

I was like, what?

1:25.2

I was like, this is real.

...

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