You're listening to LifeKid from NPR.

When was the last time you told a lie?

What's that? You never lie?

All right, I'm willing to bet that at some point in your life,

somebody's giving you a gift that you did not like,

but you pretended to love it.

Or their friend made a new recipe that came out tasting like a shoe

and you told them that it was delicious.

And look, these aren't big lies.

You're not committing fraud or hiding in a fair.

But Gail Hayman, a professor of psychology at the University of California, San Diego,

says sometimes our good intentions can be misguided.

You're trying to be helpful, but often these kind of lies

that you're trying to do to help other people don't end up working.

And I think there's often better approaches to these kinds of things.

On the other hand, a white lie can have its place.

Gail remembers this time she helped a friend shop for her wedding dress.

And she was trying on different dresses and she had a clear favorite that she knew she was

going to pick. And she wanted me to say that I liked the same one.

I actually did not like the same one.

But in that case, I lied and said that I liked the same one.

And I knew that what she wanted was validation so that she has trouble making decisions.

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