When is it appropriate for my personal agency to take precedence over my family's expectations?

Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

Dr. Julie Hanks

Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Education, Relationships, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6 • 734 Ratings

🗓️ 4 January 2022

⏱️ 25 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Rachelle and addresses the question "When is it appropriate for my personal agency to take precedence over my family's expectations?" Rachelle shares her family’s expectation that every member of the family attend church until they graduate high school, however, her middle child does not feel comfortable attending church.During this episode, Dr. Hanks shares her experience working with LGBTQIA LDS youth, and helps Rachelle explore the opportunity to re...

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to Ask Dr. Julie Hanks, a safe place for healing conversations that educate and empower you to
0:23.2	prioritize your dreams, revolutionize your family, and personalize your fate. I'm your host,
0:29.2	Dr. Julie Hanks, a psychotherapist and coach offering online courses and programs to help women
0:34.5	all over the world heal themselves and their relationships.
0:38.3	Join me here every week as I coach a listener through a specific challenge and empower them with
0:43.2	tools to find healing.
0:45.2	I'm so happy to welcome Rochelle to the podcast today.
0:49.0	Welcome, Rochelle.
0:50.5	Thank you.
0:51.1	Hi, Dr. Julie.
0:52.5	So glad to have you on the show today and I can't wait to hear your question. Yes, thank you. Hi, Dr. Julie. So glad to have you on the show today and I can't wait to hear your question.
0:57.6	Yes, thank you. It's a pleasure to get to be with you today. My question is, is it ever appropriate for an individual's personal agency to take precedence over the family's expectations. And when might that be
1:15.8	appropriate versus when is a family's expectation to take precedence over an individual's preference.
1:24.3	Okay. That's a great question. Can we get more specific? Yes. Okay. So I have five kiddos. My middle
1:31.9	child is a teenager and they are non-binary. And so we are getting used to using they and them as the
1:41.9	pronoun of choice for my teenager. And my kiddo does not enjoy attending
1:48.5	church. It's pretty uncomfortable for them. We are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of
1:54.3	Latter-day Saints. And that can be a tricky place for non-binary teenagers.
2:08.1	And this particular child is also Aero Ace, which means aromantic and asexual. And that makes a church that is focused so very heavily on the family, another tricky place for them.
2:17.4	And so all of this is new for my teen.
2:21.8	Been about 18 months or so. And we have a family expectation of every member of the family
2:30.4	attending church until they graduate from high school. And my kiddo participated in setting
	...

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