When did you realize your brain's autopilot was a complete idiot?

I was getting ready for work and had a contact lens in one hand and a vitamin in the other.

I popped the contact in my mouth and washed it down with a glass of water.

I'm sure the stomach acid took care of it?

When I was around 13 or 14, I woke up in the middle of the night, in my own bed and room,

and thought to myself, I need to go home before my parents realize I'm not there. So I sneak out of the house, part of me obviously aware that my parents were sleeping and that I needed to be quiet, and walked a block away. Then I realized I'd been in my own room and just thought, what the hell am I doing? So I walked back and snuck back into bed. So weird.

Painting a picture, took a drink from the paintbrush water instead of my coffee.

Swished my mouth wash for a solid 30 seconds and then just spit it up on the floor where I was

standing. Last night I picked up a box of cereal to put it away. I ended up accidentally taking it with me to bed.

Oh, you two have fun there? I once got my car impounded via brain autopilot. I lived across the street

from a gas station and didn't drive very often. Once I was filling up, went inside to buy something,

forgot I was getting gas and just walked

home.

A few days later, I reported my car stolen since I couldn't find it in my apartment garage.

About a month later, I got a call from the cops saying my car had gone up for auction,

and only then was it discovered it had been reported stolen.

I had to pay about $1,500 in impound fees to get it back. Definitely one of the dumbest things

I've ever done. The night before my very first day at work where I was to bring my own lunch,

I got all of the ingredients out to make a sandwich for tomorrow, and immediately after I made it,

I walked into the living room, turned on the TV, and ate it. You know, the two that come to mind are while playing

Xbox, I got up to get a drink, then sat back down and couldn't find my freaking controller. I was

tearing cushions apart, looking under stuff, looking in drawers. Turns out I took a soda out of the

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