When did you realize that your parents were dumb?

I was luckily at school working on the newspaper when this happened,

but apparently my step-mom was heating oil to make Tostadas when it caught fire.

My step-mum screamed for my dad and ran over to the sink to grab the hose.

Luckily, he stopped her from burning both of them alive,

but then decided the best cause of action was to pick up the flaming pan and attempt to carry it

outside. I walked into a kitchen that smelled like burning oil with giant scorch marks on the floor

and black marks up and down the cabinets and walls near our back door. My stepmom has also attempted

to argue that Alaska is attached geographically to the United States, and that I was misinformed

about what grade levels were in the school I attended. I realized mine was dumb when she joined her

second pyramid scheme. She's now on number four. Oh, my dad went

through tons of these as a side business, always hoping he'd make enough to quit his day job.

Always ended up stuck with tons of random products that he couldn't get rid of. It was heartbreaking to

watch. Then I realized he mostly did it because my mother spends money like crazy

and is an insane hoarder. She even has a house, empty for years that she's too emotional to sell.

Meanwhile, my poor dad is shelling out 1,200 a month for that stupid empty house from a job that barely

covers all their bills. Both of them should know better. When I found out they

never wanted kids, but had them for appearances. Yeah, for the same reason that some people buy a

Mercedes or Rangerover, for appearances. When my dad asked me, a nine-year-old, how to spell a simple

word. I started paying attention then.

I saw how he had a bunch of credit cards, was repaying loans, spent tons of money on cigarettes and

dumb crap, never used the stove or oven because he couldn't follow a recipe, so all we ate was

...