Ladies and gentlemen, when darkness falls he doesn't catch it is now available on audible.

You're welcome. Welcome. 2015 1 a.m. McSoreley's Old Ale House, New York, New York.

You're goddamn right I'm still sitting at the same weathered wooden table in the back of Manhattan's oldest bar where I just

finished my first masterpiece at night she cries while he rides his steed.

Second I finished it I started writing this one.

I'm now 14 beers deep and I've polished off an entire 8-ball of yay.

The phrase everything in moderation applies to everything except cocaine, booze and prostitutes.

If you haven't read my last book,

then you probably won't fucking understand anything in this book.

So you should probably go and buy that first and stop being poor.

It's fucking gross.

Let's get something straight.

My life is so important that you should be grateful I'm even doing this.

Seriously, do you know another motherfucker like me?

Me neither. So let's get down to Brass. In the last book I told you I was going to

off myself after completing my life story.

That still holds true.

My trusty handgun is still loaded next to my Remington-RAN typewriter

that Hemingway pissed on.

And you know the fucking bartender

isn't gonna cut me off. So I'm just going to sit here and keep writing my memoirs until I finish.

To answer your question, no, I haven't gotten up for bathroom breaks.

...