When Complex Trauma Looks Like a Personality Disorder: Dr. Kirk Honda on What Most Therapists Miss
Adult Child
Andrea
4.9 • 1.8K Ratings
🗓️ 7 May 2025
⏱️ 71 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
What if your "personality disorder" was actually trauma? The truth is, most therapists still don’t know how to spot complex PTSD — and way too many people get mislabeled in the process.
In this episode, Andrea has compiled the best moments from her past conversations with Dr. Kirk Honda — licensed therapist and host of Psychology in Seattle. They unpack the blurred lines between complex trauma and personality disorders, challenge common therapy pitfalls, and offer real insight into what trauma-informed care actually requires.
🔑 Key Takeaways:
- Why complex trauma often gets mistaken for a personality disorder — and how that mislabeling can delay real healing
- The red flags of a therapist who isn’t truly trauma-informed (and how to vet the right one)
- How repressed memories work (what they actually are, and why trying to “dig them up” can be risky without the right support)
- The overlap between borderline personality disorder and CPTSD — and why labels aren’t always helpful
- What most people get wrong about narcissism (hint: it’s not just a buzzword for people you don’t like)
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The weather. Tomorrow, expect a biting cold front. Hmm, how naughty. I wonder what I'll be |
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| 0:13.0 | that'll soak you to the skin. By Monday, temperatures will rise slowly but surely reaching |
| 0:18.7 | their peak in the afternoon. |
| 0:23.0 | Not in the mood for miserable weather? |
| 0:25.8 | Fly cheaply to Turkey with Sun Express. |
| 0:28.7 | Sun Express, non-stop sunshine. Music Welcome back to an old child, just let it all go. |
| 1:01.8 | Welcome back to adult child, where we take a deep dive into the impact of growing up in a dysfunctional family. |
| 1:05.0 | Ahoy, my dear shit shows. |
| 1:07.4 | For any new listeners, my name is Andrea. |
| 1:09.8 | I am a total incomplete shit show. |
| 1:13.0 | I am the captain of this hot mess of a ship. |
| 1:18.8 | I am an adult child of an alcoholic and dysfunctional family. And I created this podcast because there are millions of people out there who don't realize that the recurring issues that they're |
| 1:24.0 | encountering in life, whether that is in romance, at work and friendship, |
| 1:28.5 | and parenting is actually a result of their unresolved childhood wounds. So this is where we |
| 1:36.4 | talk about what the hell to do about that. So welcome aboard. Uh, we curse here. You've been |
| 1:42.0 | warned. I'm an acquired taste. You've been warned. And today, folks, |
| 1:47.1 | we are going back into the adult child vault to revisit one of my favorite guests today. |
| 1:53.9 | And that is Dr. Kirkonda. He is a psychologist. He is the face behind the hugely successful |
| 2:00.4 | YouTube channel, Psychology in Seattle, |
| 2:02.6 | where he covers everything from your favorite reality TV shows like 90-day fiancés to |
| 2:09.4 | serial killers, to colts, to hard-hitting deep dives into a variety of mental health topics |
... |
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