When Characters Collide with Conflict
The Shit No One Tells You About Writing
Bianca Marais, Carly Watters and CeCe Lyra
4.8 • 842 Ratings
🗓️ 12 March 2026
⏱️ 47 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this week’s episode of Books with Hooks, Bianca, Carly, and CeCe critique two very different query letters—and what makes (or breaks) them on the page. First, they workshop an upmarket literary novel about an accountant heading to the brutal Mongol Derby, questioning stakes, starting point, and whether the pitch is selling the story or simply summarizing it. Then, they pivot to a 1970s dual-POV sports romance about a trailblazing female ultrarunner, breaking down strong comps, a compelling premise, and why opening pages need disruption, emotion, and seduction—not just context. Two queries, two first pages, and a masterclass in what agents are really looking for.
Note: CeCe Lyra is a literary agent at Wendy Sherman Associates. If you’d like to query CeCe, please refer to the submission guidelines at www.wsherman.com. Carly Watters is a literary agent at P.S. Literary Agency, but her work on this podcast is not affiliated with the agency, and the views expressed by Carly on this podcast are solely that of her as a podcast co-host and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions, policies, or position of P.S. Literary Agency.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hi there and welcome to our show. The Ship No One Tells You About Writing. |
| 0:11.8 | I'm bestselling author Bianca Murray and I'm joined by C.C. Lira of Wendy Sherman Associates |
| 0:18.1 | and Carly Waters of PS Literary. |
| 0:25.4 | Hi everyone and welcome back to another Books with Hux. |
| 0:28.4 | As per usual, we are going to dive straight in. |
| 0:31.1 | Carly, please kick us off with your first query letter. |
| 0:39.1 | Dear Carly Waters, I'm currently seeking representation for my 88,000 word novel 25 horses, Knowing that you're drawn to upmarket book club fiction with heart-driven plots and richly drawn characters, I hope you |
| 0:44.3 | might be interested in having a look. Twenty-six-year-old accountant and lifelong writer Carol |
| 0:49.1 | Anne Jones has always held her family together, putting her emotionally erratic mothers and |
| 0:53.5 | mentally ill brothers |
| 0:55.0 | needs ahead of her own. But when Carol learns of the Mongol Derby, a thousand-kilometer horse race |
| 1:00.9 | that is billed as the world's longest and toughest, she's determined to finally do something |
| 1:04.8 | for herself. Her resolve lasts until the day before her flight to Ulambatar when she discovers |
| 1:10.5 | her brother face down, |
| 1:12.1 | his wrists slit and his life in question. |
| 1:15.0 | As Carol tries to make her peace with returning to the same, safe, obedient life she's always lived, |
| 1:19.8 | her mother lashes out, blaming Carol for her brother's near death and forbidding the race. |
| 1:24.7 | Carol finally rises up, leaving her brother to the care of medical professionals |
| 1:28.5 | as she flies off to the race of her life. Unsure of her decision, but desperate for her own |
| 1:33.9 | adventure, she strikes up a fast romance with a fellow competitor, only to find herself a victim |
| 1:38.7 | to attempted rape as she rides strange horses across the step. Carol confronts her grief, guilt, and repressed history of sexual assault from one of her mother's |
| 1:47.7 | many past boyfriends, as well as the more immediate dangers of near feral horses, wild dogs, |
... |
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