Hi, Shaline. My name's Nicole and I have a question for you about making commitments and like you said,

then immediately thinking, God, I wish I didn't make that commitment. What do you suggest you do if you say,

yes, to making a commitment, that's long term. So you've promised something to somebody that is going to require a great deal of your time for the next six to seven months.

Do you think it's best to be honest with them and say, I've actually had some time to think about it and I can't do it anymore or do you think you should honor the commitments that you make? Thank you.

Oh, Nicole, this is a tough one because the promises that we make the commitments that we make, they say a lot about who we are.

And so whether we make a promise to someone or commit to doing something as simple as, you know, trying to eat better or as complex as, you know, caring for somebody or going out of our way to do something.

Every single week that takes time away from our own families, all of those commitments, their promises and promises have a tremendous amount of power.

Imagine if the people that you knew every single thing that they said they would do, they actually followed through and did it.

What an incredible transforming experience that would be. But you also have to remember that the commitments that we make and the promises that we make, they aren't set in stone.

So yes, we need to honor, I believe, we need to be good for it. We need to honor our commitments. We need to honor the promises that we make because that speaks volumes about our own selflessness.

However, you have to evaluate the pros and cons of keeping that commitment.

And the way that we do that is by looking at and prioritizing significance of the people involved, the people that it impacts.

And here's an example, while my cousin Ashley, who lives here in Southern California, lived here in Southern California, her husband was deployed.

And while he was deployed, she has three tiny, young, adorable girls. Those are my little cousins.

And I promised her that every Sunday I would come over and give her relief. And actually it was really enjoyable for me too, but I got to hang out with the girls and we play fun games and dress up and do bath time and arts and crafts.

I was just a blast. I freaking loved it. That was a commitment that I made to her into the girls and to her husband to their family.

And they are significant. They are significant people to me. But now more significant is my husband. If, for example, he worked at Fall Hill or he needed me on Sundays and there was no way around it, then he would take priority and significance.

And I would have had to have reevaluated that promise. And in fact, kind of near the end of his deployment. That's when our father-in-law moved in.

And there were a couple of Sundays where I explained to Ashley and of course she completely understood that I need to be here to help Bob get assimilated.

You know, just get accustomed to living here and it was new and you know, a lot was up in the air. And she completely understood.

And I did that because frankly, I had to look at the significance of the impact it would have on keeping that promise on that Sunday when it would impact both myself, my husband, and my father-in-law.

And that took significance for those couple of weeks over Ashley and her girls. And it's hard to say that, but it's just true.

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