What to Do When a Partner Pulls Away

On Attachment

Stephanie Rigg

Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Education, Relationships

5 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 11 April 2024

⏱️ 24 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts on how to navigate a partner pulling away. If you're someone with anxious attachment patterns, a partner's withdrawal or disengagement can feel extremely distressing - and yet, many of our go-to strategies for managing that distress can ironically have the effect of pushing someone further away. We'll cover:what to do when someone pulls away in an early dating contextwhy we feel drawn to pursuing connections with people who are inconsistent&n...

Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to On attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience
0:09.9	relationships and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to
0:15.1	overcome insecurity and build healthy thriving relationships. I'm your host
0:20.6	relationship coach Stephanie Rigg and I'm really glad you're here.
0:29.7	Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of on attachment in today's episode we are
0:34.6	talking about what to do when your partner pulls away or withdraws so this is a
0:40.8	question that I have received in many forms, many times from people in my community.
0:47.7	And I think it's a big question because obviously it spans so many different sets of circumstances and contexts and so in answering
0:56.4	this question and sharing some thoughts around this I'm gonna split it up into
1:01.4	different scenarios so if someone that you're in the early stages of
1:06.5	dating starts to pull away, you know, that's a very different scenario to if someone
1:12.4	you've been in a long-term relationship with for a couple of years
1:14.9	is being withdrawn and pulling away and I think while it might activate similar circuit tree
1:20.3	within you I think what is appropriate in terms of how you respond to that might be different and my advice would probably differ.
1:28.0	So I'm going to speak to those different versions of the scenario where someone that you're in
1:35.0	relationship with or connected with is pulling away and you know while I haven't
1:41.6	explicitly made this about anxious and avoidant attachment, I think it would be fair to say that I'm mostly speaking to people who probably lean more anxious here and have been in the situation of having someone who leans more
1:54.8	avoidant pulling away as we know that's the more typical scenario. So while it's not exclusively that and of
2:01.0	course there will always be variations on the theme
2:04.3	that's probably in most cases going to be what we're talking about today.
2:08.9	Before I dive into today's episode I just wanted to share I've done a really terrible job at
2:14.0	sharing this but there is a YouTube channel that I created a little while ago and that we've
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