You're listening to On Attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience relationships

and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to overcome insecurity

and build healthy, thriving relationships.

I'm your host, relationship coach Stephanie Rigg,

and I'm really glad you're here.

Hey, everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment.

In today's episode, we're talking all about self-soothing and anxious attachment,

which I know is one of those

areas that so many people have a hard time with. And, you know, if you are someone who identifies

with anxious attachment and self-soothing, particularly when there are relational ruptures or other

things in that relational field that are causing you stress, you are so far from alone

in having a hard time with self-soothing.

That's very much part of the blueprint of anxious attachment is that that is an underdeveloped

skill set.

But nevertheless, despite it being common or normal among anxious attaches, I know that

it can cause a lot of overwhelm and stress and

vulnerability in relationships when you are feeling anxious and you feel like you are kind of

powerless to do anything about that, that you don't have any tools to offer yourself and that you're

really at the mercy of something outside of yourself,

oftentimes your partner, to provide the safety and reassurance that you need in order to calm

yourself down. And obviously, you know, depending on the circumstances, if there's been a rupture

or you're otherwise feeling disconnected from your partner, that external reassurance might not

...