Welcome back to the savvy psychologist. I'm Dr. Ellen Hendrickson, and every week I'll help you

meet life's challenges with evidence-based research, a sympathetic ear, and zero judgment.

So this week was a big week at the podcast because my first book, How to Be Yourself,

quiet your inner critic and rise above social anxiety, hit the shelves. Yay! So to celebrate,

we will do the fifth of a six-week special series on all things introversion,

shyness, and social anxiety, and talk about feeling insecure. Because if your confidence is the

consistency of jello, if you feel like a dandelion in a sea of orchids, if you walk through the world with an existential

trombone accompaniment of wot, wah, wah, wah. The good news is you are not alone. Whatever you call it,

self-doubt, insecurity, inadequacy, it is a universal phenomenon. We can all relate to feeling

as insecure as a newly launched cryptocurrency. Insecurity even causes a unique form of amnesia.

When we're stuck in the throes of insecurity, it's hard to remember ever feeling

confident. Our memory becomes selective and any sense of ourselves as strong, self-assured, or

capable, disappears faster than freshly baked cookies. So, how to salvage our confidence. Luckily, there are lots of things we can do. So this week,

we'll walk through three things to try when you're feeling insecure, plus we'll address two

common go-toes that actually backfire. So let's start with what not to do.

Number one, it's going to be great. I can do it. I'm amazing. All the generic phrases we mutter to ourselves to try to psych ourselves up end up psyching us out. Why? Because they feel like a lie.

Now, this will sound remarkably nerdy because it is, but think of it in quantitative terms. If you don't believe your self-affirmation at least 75%, it's

probably not going to work. Even worse, according to a study out of the University of Minnesota, if self-affirmation

is followed by not so affirming performance, the letdown can deflate your motivation and cause you

to give up on your goals. Number two, don't compare yourself to others. Okay, by now, we all know that social media leads

to comparing, which in turn makes us feel lousy. The unfiltered ups and downs of our own

existence, clipping coupons, waiting for the bus, picking up dog poo from the yard, don't stand

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