What The Narcissist Does At The End Of Every Relationship

Trauma & Narcissism Redefined

Caroline Strawson

Narcissisticabuse, Health & Fitness, Narcissist, Self-improvement, Education, Recovery, Mental Health, Trauma

4.8 • 701 Ratings

🗓️ 1 June 2021

⏱️ 27 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In today's episode, we will discuss what happens when we end a relationship with a narcissist. We will analyse why the abuse continues after the end of the relationship, and why narcissists smear our reputation when we are the ones who decide to separate or divorce. I'll share some of my own experiences, and how I learned to stop judging myself and others in narcissistic abusive relationships.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

- Why narcissists feel their wounded parts triggered when we decide to end the relationship

- What makes a narcissist want to end a relationship

- Why our narcissistic ex-spouse looks like a different person after we separate from them

- Why narcissists tend to rewrite the story of what happened and then try to smear our reputation

Instead of judging ourselves for staying in an abusive relationship, we can take this awakening as an opportunity to know ourselves better. We need to be curious about why we feel the way we do, and identify the younger wounded parts we were trying to protect by accepting being in a relationship with a narcissist.

Resources:

- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/

- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Welcome to the narcissistic abuse recovery podcast. I'm Caroline Stawson and I'll be sharing with you
0:09.2	awareness, understanding and education about the devastating effects of narcissistic abuse to help you thrive.
0:16.8	I want you to know that I've been exactly where you are now and I believe you. And this show
0:22.2	is all about taking you from trauma to transformation. What I really want to talk about in today's
0:33.3	episode is what actually happens when you have that relationship with a narcissist that ends,
0:41.0	what do they go off and do? Because it is not like any other breakup, let's be honest. And this was
0:48.0	something I really didn't expect when I got divorced 10 years ago. I kind of thought, once that happened, there'd be this process of
0:56.9	sorting the divorce out, sorting your finances out, sorting child contact, and it would be quite
1:01.7	methodical, it would be quite strategic. However, what actually happened was I had complex post-traumatic
1:09.4	stress disorder, I'd got depression, anxiety, and I was
1:12.4	self-harming. And I was really, really at what bottom? Because I'd got a huge amount of debt,
1:17.7	over $100,000. And in fact, in 2013, I even had my family home repossessed as well. So you can
1:24.1	imagine single mom, two beautiful children desperately wanting to do the best that I could,
1:29.2	but feeling like I was literally wading intreecle all of the time. And I'd take one step forward,
1:34.5	one day, and then all of a sudden the next day I felt like I was taking 10 steps back.
1:39.0	So what is it the narcissist actually does then when the relationship breaks down? You know, what is it that
1:46.0	makes actually the abuse continue? Because it doesn't just end. And in fact, what can happen is it can
1:53.7	get even worse. I'm ready to explain this. I'm just going to take you back a little bit. And I know I've
1:59.7	talked about this in other
2:01.1	episodes, but really how a narcissist is formed. So we know from a scientific research
2:07.7	perspective that a narcissist isn't born that way. There isn't a narcissist gene per se.
2:14.5	But what happens is a narcissist is formed in childhood. And there can be a host of reasons.
	...

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