WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON

Absolutely Not

Dear Media

Callin, Humor, Aperol, Arts, Comedian, Entertainment, Advice, Personal572339, Funny, Instagram, Hotline, Female, Comedy, Heathermcmahon

4.9 • 13.6K Ratings

🗓️ 20 May 2020

⏱️ 49 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

On this solo episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is falling apart at the thin ankles, literally. With a burnt taint, a rolled ankle and nothing to do, she has hit a new LEVEL OF NOPE. She cant even record this episode without her mom walking into the office to make it about her....typical Robin. If you thought the voicemails were wild last week, wait till you hear that the crazies have been up to now. Were week 852 into quarantine and still no one knows what the hell is going on!

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Produced by Dear Media.

Transcript

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0:00.0	The following podcast is a DR Media production.
0:06.5	Welcome to the Absolutely Not Podcast, where we do the most in the least at the same damn time.
0:12.4	I'm your host Heather McMahon.
0:18.1	Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast.
0:22.7	I'm your host Heather McMahon. Thanks for tuning in today. We got a lot to
0:26.2	dissect if you tuned in last week, you know, my, my tank got burned and it's bubbled up.
0:33.3	The skin cracked. Went raw, had an open wound, got a lot I'm dealing with. Then I, I rolled my ankle.
0:41.2	So the Lord doesn't want me to exercise. And that's where I'm at in my life.
0:48.5	We're going to discuss a lot. I'm going to get into the voicemails. I'm really enjoying just these
0:52.2	kind of solo episodes. Just me and you, you know, your shitsoo, name Charlie. I don't know if
0:59.6	you're listening to me, you know, as you're cleaning the kitchen, as you're running down the street
1:05.4	away from your family, because you're done. It's about where I am right now. We're weak, what?
1:10.8	697. I mean, here's the deal. I want to say something. I know I'll get backlash for this.
1:18.4	I know I will. But I'm kind of to the point where I'm like, what are we doing here? Can I ask
1:23.2	that question? Is that too bold? Am I allowed to say that? What are we doing here? I know we were
1:28.1	staying home. I was all in. I was locked up wrong. I was in it, spraying everything down,
1:33.4	did it, you know what I mean? Gloving, masking, you know, hissing at the neighbors as they walk by.
1:40.7	Just self-isolating the fuck out of myself. And now I think I've hit the wall where I'm like,
1:46.3	what's going on? I mean, I'm just asking, does anybody have any fucking clue what's going on?
1:52.2	You know, we talked about it last week that I don't think anybody really knows what's going on.
1:56.0	But we're coming up on June, guys. It's May. We're coming up on June. And no one knows.
2:02.6	I would have thought since last week's episode, somebody would have, maybe a professional,
	...

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