What Should I Do For My Dad?

Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Dr. Laura Schlessinger & SiriusXM

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4.4 • 6K Ratings

🗓️ 6 September 2023

⏱️ 5 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Michael's mother died recently and he's trying to figure out how best to help his elderly father adjust to life without her. Email questions or comments: [email protected] - Participate on the radio program: call 1-800-Dr-Laura / 1-800-375-2872 or make an appointment https://www.drlaura.com/make-an-appointment.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Thanks for listening to my call of the day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern time on serious XM triumph 11. Michael, welcome to the program.
0:13.0	Thank you.
0:15.0	Quick background. I'm 55 single. No kids. I recently returned to my home state about seven years ago just to be closer to family.
0:33.0	Um, the past two years. I have been living with my parents, helping them kind of extend their independence. My father's 82 my mother 81.
0:52.0	She passed away about a week and a half ago. Oh, so now it's just my father and I. He's been dropping some hints about wanting to move back to his hometown, which is just about an hour from where we're at now.
1:12.0	But he also keeps kind of dropping hints about me going with him. I think, uh, so I guess I'm wondering, um, is now a good time to maybe start talking to him about independent living. I think he's okay to live on his own for now.
1:36.0	Sir, it's always okay to have a kind, compassionate, important conversation. It's always okay.
1:46.0	But you have to tell him the truth. I understand that you'd like to move there. That's not something I'm planning on doing. So do you want to talk about alternatives?
1:56.0	Is it too soon? Mom's just gone. Is it too soon for us to discuss this? It's called communication. You can say all these things. Yeah, ask all the questions. I'll be shy and don't be afraid. There's nothing mean about having a truthful conversation.
2:12.0	Yeah, and I guess I'm not afraid to have that conversation with him. I'm.
2:18.0	I'm more and we have a great relationship. We talk about most everything. Yes, you are. Yes, you are afraid to have that conversation with him because you don't want to look like a creep and a bad son.
2:32.0	I'm afraid of having the conversation. Yeah, that's afraid. Yes, sorry.
2:44.0	Have it anyway. Yeah, I feel.
2:47.0	Doesn't matter how you feel.
2:49.0	Doesn't matter how he feels. Two of you have to have an honest conversation.
2:55.0	One of the problems people have with communication is their second guessing. Everybody's freaking feelings and feelings come and go.
3:03.0	Important things still have to be dealt with.
3:10.0	Am I obligated in any way?
3:15.0	What?
3:17.0	To continue to assist him.
3:23.0	No, you're not obligated, but you're are obligated morally to make sure he's taken care of that doesn't mean you have to do it hands on.
3:31.0	No, that there is no such obligation.
	...

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