What's your most embarrassing doctor's office story?

So, yesterday I went to the doctor for some intestinal bleeding.

My doctor is fairly new to the office, and I've only met her once before this.

I'm only 21, so I've never had a reason for a doctor to go knuckle deep in my rectum before,

but the doctor insisted that it needed to be done for some tests.

So I bend over the table and she lobes up and digs for treasure.

I hadn't dropped one out in a day or so because it hurts when I do so, so I was a bit stopped up.

Upon starting to pull out, I immediately realized what's about to happen and try everything in my power to stop it.

Too late. Doctor pulls her finger out and plop, outlands a turd right on the floor. I was able

to hold back the rest, but the damage was done. In conclusion, dropped a steaming hot log right on the

floor of my doctor's office. Mine's not so much embarrassing as it is awesome. I had the mumps

during my first year of college, and along with that I got orchidus.

The swelling of the testicles caused by the mumps in my left nut, which swelled up to the size of a potato.

It was really painful and heavy, so I had to carry it everywhere for a while.

So I went to the doctors. He checked my mumps, and then I told him there was another problem. I dropped trow, lay on the doctor bed

thing, and he came over to examine. He laughed when he saw it, because it was freaking huge,

and he said, what seems to be the problem? Jokingly. At that moment, I pointed to my regular-sized

bollick and said, this one shrank. Cue the five-minute laughter from the dark. When I turned 30, I suddenly became a hypochondriac.

I thought that everything was cancer or worse.

So I'm seeing my doctor, who was a racquetball buddy, for my annual physical,

and I mentioned that I was having some pains in the left side of my chest.

I asked him, I know this is rare, but could it be breast cancer?

...