This is MPR's LifeKit. I'm Kya Miyakanatees.

Today, we're talking attachment styles, which are very popular these days.

You've probably seen people online talking about how they can help you in relationships.

And though it might feel new, it's actually an old idea that first started in the parenting world.

So the founder of a attachment theory that with children initially is John Balbi,

and he made this idea leap at the time.

This was back in the 1950s when the general belief was that babies just needed food and shelter,

and that distancing yourself, that holding them too much, letting them cry,

and generally just leaving them alone was good parenting.

But Balbi thought differently. Balbi thought that these are different,

a separate type of basic need that humans have to attach to others.

That's Samir Levine. He's a psychiatrist and neuroscientist at Columbia University,

and also the co-author of Attached, the new Science of Adult Attachment.

John Balbi's research showed that it wasn't actually just about making sure the baby has food

and a roof over their head. A secure relationship with a parent or caretaker played a major factor

in their development. You can provide children with all the physical sustenance that they need,

like food and shelter, but if you don't interact with them and there isn't an attachment,

they will actually fail to thrive.

There are four basic attachment styles, secure, anxious, avoidant, and anxious avoidant.

Eventually, years of research and experiments revealed that not only did children have different

attachment styles, those styles could continue into adulthood, showing up in their romantic

relationships. That said, it isn't just about how you were raised. Other dynamics like temperament,

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