What's the rudest question you've ever received?

Had bad acne and stupid questions like,

Why don't you just wash your face or bathe every day?

Oh, me too. I never tire of...

Have you tried washing more?

Maybe you eat too much chocolate.

Maybe you need to use more expensive products.

No way.

I totally didn't even think of that.

I thought just,

F it. I'll walk around for 15 years like a freaking pizza face, completely alienating myself

from the rest of the world and being held back from jobs and doing the deed and partners,

while everyone else builds a freaking life for themselves, because Frick knows I don't want

to wash twice a week. Yes, thank you. I do wash more than twice a

week. Sometimes I wash on both days at the weekend. But in summer, when the hosepipe ban is on,

I just go swimming in my local duck pond. I've snapped before when these kinds of questions come up.

Let's just say it starts with a far too long lesson on how cystic acne works and ends with

me explaining that the stuff I use on my face casts more than their iPhone. I'm not proud of this.

Well, maybe a little. Are you self-conscious about your teeth? Well, I freaking am now. Are you

self-conscious about your black eye? What black- ow! Stares intensely at my face.

How many times have you broken your nose? The answer is none. I've been asked if the government

gives me compensation for being legally a midget. I do not have dwarfism. I'm just really short.

...