One meeting away from going postal. If you've ever had these thoughts, you're not alone.

I had the urge to quit. I mean, and I will, but it'll be called retiring when I do it.

I had that strong urge today when I realized that I hadn't been provided a very key piece of

information that I needed after working on a horribly tedious project for three days.

I had to scrap the whole thing and start over.

For a moment, I thought about just walking away, from my job, my life, everything,

just getting in the car and driving until I ran out of gas.

I've never been in a fight, like a full-on fist fight, just wondering how much I could give or take.

But like, I don't want to be broken afterwards, so I probably won't ever act on it.

I feel like this might be more common than I think, but I sometimes really want to know what it would feel like to feel extreme pain, but to not have it last.

Like, I want to know what my pain would be like if I shanked

myself, but I don't want it to cause lasting damage. You know what I want to do? I want to

scream at work. If you work in a restaurant, go into the walk-in and just scream there. It helps.

In fact, a walk-in cooler is probably the best workplace mental health service. Thick metal walls to muffle the outbursts, cold temperatures to cool you down, it keeps you from hanging around too long and dwelling on it, and you're typically alone in there. When I'm filling my car up, I sometimes get an urge to pour a ton of petrol on myself or somebody else. I just kind of want to see what would happen. I also dig the smell.

Oh, and also, I've wanted to slap my mother-in-law about 50 times since Christmas.

Whenever I'm working and someone is just physically close to me, a little voice pops into my head

saying, they're so close. You could just kiss them. But then my brain comes back to reality,

and I'd realize

that I have no desire to kiss my biopartner or teacher, but they're so close that I could.

And then on the same note, I also sometimes get the urge to slap people. I'm talking to someone

and just feel like beating them across the face. They're so close, I could just do it and they'd

never have time to flinch. Of course, I don't actually slap people across the face.

...