meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen

What Makes a Good Relationship (Stan Tatkin)

Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen

Elise Loehnen

Society & Culture, Religion & Spirituality, Self-improvement, Education

4.8900 Ratings

🗓️ 3 July 2024

⏱️ 49 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Stan Tatkin is an author, therapist, and researcher who guides couples toward more durable relationships. He developed the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT), a non-linear approach that explores attachment theory to help couples adopt secure-functioning principles: In short, Stan and his wife, Tracey, train therapists to work through a psychobiological lens. Often, our brains get away from us when we’re in conflict in our relationships—we lose ourselves to our instincts. He has trained thousands of therapists to integrate PACT into their clinical practice, offers intensive counseling sessions, and co-leads couples retreats with his wife. Tatkin is also an assistant clinical professor at the David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA.  Stan wrote Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner’s Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship more than a decade ago and it became an instant classic. It was due for a refresh to encompass the wider range of relationships we’re now experiencing and it’s just been re-issued, better than ever. In today’s conversation we talk about the table stakes of a good relationship: Nobody cares about your survival more than your partner, something we easily forget. As it were, we get into a fascinating sidebar on Pre-Nuptial Agreements, which in Stan’s estimation cause many relationships to founder. I’ll let him tell you why. MORE FROM STAN TATKIN: Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner’s Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship In Each Other’s Care: A Guide to the Most Common Relationship Conflicts and How to Work Through Them We Do Wired for Dating Stan Tatkin’s Website Follow Stan on Instagram To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hi, it's Elise Luna and host of Pulling the Thread. Today I'm joined by author and therapist Stan Tacken,

0:07.0

author of so many excellent books about relationships, including the just reissued Wired for Love.

0:17.0

You know where that is. An ice cold beer. What's different?

0:22.6

It's Budweiser.

0:25.6

A perfect beer for party season.

0:32.6

Best enjoyed with your best buds.

0:34.6

Cheers to that.

0:36.6

Budweiser, like no other. Please drink responsibly for the facts best butts. Cheers to that.

0:39.5

Budweiser, like no other.

0:40.9

Please drink responsibly.

1:01.1

For the facts, visit drinkaware.coma.uker. Hi, it's Elise Lunan, host of Pulling the Thread. On this show, we pull apart the web in which we all live to understand who we are and why we're here. Pulling the thread is about big questions, why we do what we do,

1:08.3

how we can understand our own experiences within a larger spiritual

1:11.9

and historical context, the ways in which we might begin to understand ourselves and each other

1:16.9

better, and what's required to heal ourselves and our world. I'll be joined in conversation

1:22.3

by luminaries and wise elders, those who have laid tracks in their work and lives to help

1:27.1

us bring meaning

1:27.8

and understanding to a world that often feels chaotic and overwhelming.

1:32.5

My hope is that these conversations spark moments of resonance and plant tiny seeds of awareness

1:37.5

so that we might all collectively learn and grow.

1:42.7

Our anger is I'm angry because something happened

1:46.0

that I feel was unjust or unfair.

1:48.7

And if it continues, then I want my justice.

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Elise Loehnen, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Elise Loehnen and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.