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Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen

The Critical Need for Deep Connection (Niobe Way, PhD): GROWING UP

Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen

Elise Loehnen

Society & Culture, Religion & Spirituality, Self-improvement, Education

4.8 • 900 Ratings

🗓️ 8 July 2024

⏱️ 59 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Dr. Niobe Way is an internationally-recognized Professor of Developmental Psychology, the founder of the Project for the Advancement of Our Common Humanity (PACH) at NYU, and the Director of the Science of Human Connection Lab. She is also a Principal Investigator of the Listening Project, funded by the Spencer Foundation, the Chan-Zuckerberg Initiative and the Rockefeller Foundation. When she was a student, Niobe studied with Carol Gilligan—if you read my newsletter or listen to this podcast, you know Carol is a hero of mine and will be wrapping up this series as a guest. Niobe has done for boys what Carol has done for girls—and their research intersects and Venn diagrams in fascinating ways. While Carol’s research shows that girls come to not know what they know, Niobe traces how boys disconnect from their caring and often enter a period of irrevocably devastating and dangerous loneliness. Niobe is the author of Deep Secrets: Boys’ Friendships and the Crisis of Connection as well as the just-released, Rebels with a Cause: Reimagining Boys, Ourselves, and Our Culture, which offers fascinating insight into our culture at large. Along with historical context, Niobe offers beautiful case studies from her research—following and interviewing boys as they grow up—along with notes from boys who have gone on to wreak havoc on the culture, in homicidal and suicidal ways. These notes speak to disconnection, extreme loneliness, and feeling like nobody cares. As I talk about my book in living rooms around the country, I often cite Niobe and Carol Gilligan, specifically the insight that at a certain point—around 8 for boys, and 11 for girls—the word “don’t” enters children’s vocabulary. For girls, it’s “I don’t know.” For boys, it’s “I don’t care.” And of course, girls knows. And of course, boys care. We need to repair our culture so it’s safe for them to stay connected. As you can tell, I’m very excited for this conversation. MORE FROM NIOBE WAY, PhD: Rebels with a Cause: Reimagining Boys, Ourselves, and Our Culture Deep Secrets: Boys’ Friendships and the Crisis of Connection The Crisis of Connection: Roots, Consequences, and Solutions Niobe Way’s Website To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hi, it's Elise Lunan, host of Pulling the Thread.

0:03.5

Today, I'm joined by Dr. Niobe Way, a professor of developmental psychology and the author of Rebels with the Cause.

0:14.0

You know what that is?

0:16.5

An ice cold beer.

0:18.4

What's different?

0:21.1

It's Budweiser.

0:23.1

Brood longer for a refreshing, smooth taste.

0:29.6

Like no other.

0:32.5

Cheers to that.

0:34.6

Budweiser, like no other.

0:36.9

Please drink responsibly.

0:38.1

For the facts, visit drinkaware.com.com.uker.uker.

0:40.0

UK.

0:54.0

On this show, we pull apart the web in which we all live

0:58.0

to understand who we are and why we're here. Pulling the thread is about big questions, why we do what we do,

1:05.3

how we can understand our own experiences within a larger spiritual and historical context, the ways in which we might begin

1:12.0

to understand ourselves and each other better, and what's required to heal ourselves and our

1:17.1

world. I'll be joined in conversation by luminaries and wise elders, those who have laid tracks

1:22.6

in their work and lives to help us bring meaning and understanding to a world that often feels chaotic and overwhelming.

1:29.4

My hope is that these conversations spark moments of resonance and plant tiny seeds of awareness

1:34.5

so that we might all collectively learn and grow.

1:39.7

You can't be independent if you're not deeply connected.

...

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