This is NPR's life kit.

I'm Andy Tagle, one of the producers at this show.

And I want to be liked.

I mean, don't we all?

Haven't we all put on a fake smile now

and then to make it get impression?

Or agonized if we've made the right move?

Or, I don't know.

Hell the door open for a ridiculous number of people

so as not to be considered even a little bit rude?

Okay, that last one might just be a me thing.

But as Alicia Menendez will tell you,

my likability isn't really up to me.

Who we like is a deeply subjective thing

and there is this sense of, you know, when you know.

What is tricky about that is that all of that

is shaped by a lot of who we are,

our markers of identity,

and the people that we're interacting with

and how many of those markers line up.

Menendez is a journalist, podcast creator and host,

and author of the likability trap.

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