What levels of cheapness have astonished you? When I was a little kid, I used to spend summers at my

grandparents' house, and one of my chores was to set the table before dinner every night. Whenever we

were having company over for dinner, I was instructed to use the good napkins. That meant the napkins

that didn't have restaurant logos printed on them. We only went to restaurants when my

grandmother felt she could come out ahead of the deal, and there were many ways to accomplish this.

She clipped coupons, of course, but that was kids' stuff. Anytime she did anything for someone,

she'd get them to take her to dinner to return the favor. She had an enormous purse, which

generally came back stuffed with napkins and food

from the buffet. She didn't see much point in going to any restaurant that didn't at least have a

salad bar. One year, when my mother and I offered to take her to dinner for her birthday, we

ended up having to drive over an hour to get to a sizzler she hadn't been banned from.

At my local Dunkin' Donuts, you have to ask the workers specifically if you want a packet of sugar or sweetenlo, or one of those little half-and-half containers, because the senior citizens in the area used to come in and take them all so that they wouldn't have to buy them in the store, and the workers had to take them all away.

My 13-year-old daughter was invited

to a small birthday party at a mediocre chain restaurant, Ruby Tuesdays, for her best friend. The girlfriend

is here quite often and regularly eats dinner, breakfast, lunch, etc., if she's here, and sleeps over

about twice a week during the summertime. She's been included to trips at the

amusement park and water parks nearby. We have season tickets, but there's always something to eat

like funnel cakes. She comes to movies with us and the occasional trip to Dairy Queen,

and I've never asked to be paid or have her pay her own way. We treat her as one of her own.

Imagine my disgust when my daughter calls me from the restaurant

bathroom, nearly in tears, telling me they've just told her that she'll have to pick up her own check.

After dinner and dessert have been served. The check was $13. The father actually said separate

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