Hi. You're listening to Small Things Often from the Gottman Institute, where we talk you through

research-based tips to help improve your relationships in five minutes or less.

Today's tip is about trust. It's no secret that trust is important in a relationship.

It's part of what forms stable relationships. But what does it mean to truly

trust your partner? And what happens when that trust is broken? To quote trust and technology

expert Rachel Botsman, trust is having a confident relationship to the unknown. It's the bridge

between the known and the unknown over a river of uncertainty.

And when it comes to your relationship, the known is how your partner shows up for you,

their presence, the way they interact with you, the things they do and say.

The unknown is the meaning or intention behind that, what they're thinking, how they perceive things, their core

feelings. Trust is believing or being confident that your partner has your best interests

at heart. It's acting in good faith, giving them the benefit of the doubt, or holding the

belief that they are doing their best. Trust, like a bridge, is built. When you first enter into a

relationship, you might think, of course I trust my partner. But what's the basis of that trust?

Do you trust your partner because they haven't let you down? Because trust hasn't been tested yet.

Or are you just a trusting person? Trust building happens as you move

through life together. That doesn't mean that initial trust isn't real. There's just room for that

trust to grow even stronger. Trust is built as you express compassion and empathy for one another's

feelings. This foundation is essential when you face betrayal. Don't let

this freak you out. But yes, betrayal happens in some form in every relationship. Like conflict,

it's inevitable. Betrayal isn't always a full dramatic scene from a soap opera. It could be small.

Like your partner telling your mom something that you asked them

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