Hi, you're listening to Small Things Often from the Gottman Institute, where we talk you through

research-based tips to help improve your relationships in five minutes or less.

Today's tip is about making time for date night. Dates probably look a little different right now.

2020 has been a weird year, and that means many of your routines,

plans, and even your concept of time may have gone out the window. But it's still important

for you and your partner to make time for each other, to spend quality time together.

You have to be intentional about it, even if a date doesn't look the way it used to. A date could be anything that helps

you take a moment to connect. Maybe you have a reading date on the couch, or spend an extra 20

minutes in bed together in the morning, or just go for a walk around the block and hold hands.

With many of us working from home, it could be a breath of fresh air, literally for your relationship,

to get outside, away from stressful distractions. So what if none of these are options? What if

you're in a long-distance relationship and can't get together frequently? Have a FaceTime

or Zoom date. Make the most of it. Open a bottle of wine together or each order your favorite takeout and pretend like you're sitting across a table from each other while, you know, propping up a phone, tablet, or computer so you can see their face. Still set boundaries, though. Regardless of what you're doing and wherever you are for date night, make some agreements. For example, maybe you can agree to put your phones away,

unless, of course, you need your phone to see your date, or establish ahead of time what

conversations should be off limits, like work, the pandemic, or finances. Set the intention to

invest your time in turning towards each other and enjoying each other's presence. Plan for what that means to you, even if you can't physically be together, or go out to your

favorite date spots right now.

Because let's face it, if you're too busy for date night, you're too busy.

Date nights should be sacred times to honor your relationship.

So here's today's small thing.

Schedule a weekly date with your partner.

But not just any date night. This is a must not cancel, no excuses scheduled on a calendar with a permanent marker date night. No matter how crazy life gets, make it happen. It doesn't have to be

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