What Is True Love?
Titus Podcast
Christopher Titus
4.6 • 2.3K Ratings
🗓️ 22 May 2020
⏱️ 88 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
How've you been? Have you been stuck inside with your true love... or someone you now want to cough on with a certain crunch berry? In this episode Titus, Bombshell, and the Highlander talk true love, yorkie TV habits, and get sucked back in to the current events vortex. Now pass the fava beans.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey, everybody. This is The Highlander with the Titus podcast. This episode is brought to you by Harry's Razors. |
| 0:13.5 | Go to harries.com forward slash Titus and get your deals. And now, here's Christopher Titus with the Armageddon update. |
| 0:22.6 | I'm Christopher Titus with the Armageddon Update. I'm Christopher Titus, and this is the Armageddon update. How are you guys doing? Everything okay? |
| 0:27.8 | Now, due to COVID and the toilet paper panic buying, I'm sure you all have your ass touching porcelain right now, pants around your ankles, contemplating mortality, or you're freaking out that the relationship you've been locked inside with for 10 weeks won't give you five damn minutes for yourself to |
| 0:43.3 | read Twitter while you evacuate your colon. I'm in here. Did your relationship get worse or better |
| 0:48.6 | during this pandemic? Did you realize that you're with your best friend or a plan where to |
| 0:52.6 | bury their body? Did you realize you're with an apocalypse prepping psycho and have been forced to get ready to kill or be killed? |
| 1:00.0 | Or a moron who had the chance to buy bleach wives and instead purchased a neck pillow for plane travel? |
| 1:06.0 | Where the hell are we going? |
| 1:09.0 | For me, I realized I was locked down and quarantined with my best friend, my buddy, my compadre, |
| 1:14.6 | a person who at the very least can tolerate me for long periods of time. |
| 1:19.6 | The one person who knows that maybe I like eating Captain Crunch out of a coffee mug, |
| 1:24.6 | and doesn't care as long as I toss them a COVID virus looking crunch berry once in a while. |
| 1:29.0 | And then we giggle as we devour the virus and its sweet crackling goodness. |
| 1:33.5 | Yes, we've been locked out that long. |
| 1:36.5 | She's my great love. |
| 1:37.4 | A person who in the face of losing all my work made sure I didn't become a raging alcoholic and instead calmed me by making us watch cartoon movies on Disney Plus. |
| 1:46.0 | Yeah, you want to feel better about everything, people? |
| 1:48.0 | Go watch Wally. |
| 1:49.0 | Yeah, my God, that movie is Pixar Prozac |
| 1:52.0 | and may have stopped a rash of domestic violence outbreaks. |
| 1:55.0 | And to those who realize they made the right choice in their relationship, |
... |
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