What if I'm Attracted to Someone Who Isn't My Spouse? #606
Java with Juli - Making Sense of God and Sex
Authentic Intimacy®
4.9 • 1.7K Ratings
🗓️ 4 May 2026
⏱️ 41 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This week, Juli sits down with Joe and Hannah to tackle the question: What do you do when you're attracted to someone who isn't your spouse?
Together, they unpack the reality that attraction outside of marriage isn't a matter of if, but when. From the myth of "soulmates" to the powerful role of brain chemistry, this conversation explores why these feelings happen, and why they don't have to define your choices.
You'll also learn how small decisions, honesty, and intentional investment in your marriage can protect what matters most.
Co-hosts: Hannah Nitz and Joe Caruso
Check out our newest Hot Topic Kit: Building a Great Sex Life
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Follow-up Resources:
Preorder 25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Sex, Love, and Intimacy by Dr. Juli Slattery
Be the first to know when Online Book Studies open up
Sexual Attraction Isn't As Important as You Think, Here's Why by Juli Slattery (blog)
Follow Joe Caruso at @joecaruso06
Follow Hannah Nitz at @hannahnitz
Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey, I'm so glad you join me for another episode of Job with Julie. |
| 0:06.7 | I'm Julie Slattery, and this podcast is an outreach of authentic intimacy, |
| 0:10.9 | and that's a ministry helping people make sense of God and sexuality. |
| 0:15.5 | Hannah Knits and Joe Caruso are back with me in the studio today. |
| 0:19.6 | Hey, guys. |
| 0:20.5 | How's it going? Pretty good. How are you? |
| 0:24.2 | Solid intro right here. I don't know. There you go. How's it going with you? |
| 0:29.5 | Oh, I'm doing pretty good. A little small talk. I love hanging out with you two. I've only got to do this a few times now, but I love absolutely doing it. And this is always a |
| 0:37.9 | fun basement to hang out in. Yeah. We said studio, you know, so it's don't tell us. It's never in a cool place. Julie's pulling a prank on us. Let me know if you agree with this, Joe, where every time we come here, the table we're meeting at is smaller. Don't you feel like it's getting smaller. |
| 0:53.1 | Oh, absolutely. |
| 0:53.8 | And it's like somehow I'm like four inches away from Joe's face as I'm having to talk about the question. I think next time it's going to be on a TV tray. Yeah. Okay. So the true story, we usually have two tables here set up. And my son borrowed one of them for a party, and he has to |
| 1:11.3 | it brought it back. |
| 1:12.3 | So if you're listening to this. It's not a complaint. It's just a reality. If you're listening to this, Michael, we need a table back. Come on, Michael. Because we are too close to each other as we're talking about these topics. He thought it wasn't a big deal, but it is a big deal. It's just a table. Oh, my goodness. Well, even on this tiny table, |
| 1:29.0 | we are going to continue to go through all the questions that we've been getting over the |
| 1:34.5 | years that have compiled into the new release of the book, 25 questions you're afraid to ask |
| 1:40.8 | about love, sex, and intimacy. So we've been working on our way through those, |
| 1:45.0 | taken not all 25 questions, but some of the highlights, and just giving people a taste of what's |
| 1:50.3 | covered in the book. And I'm so excited that we get to do that another day. Yeah. And Julie, |
| 1:56.1 | I think this question that we're going to talk about today on this tiny table is something that people |
| 2:01.6 | often don't bring up until they're a little too far down the road until it's feeling too late. |
| 2:07.5 | So the question is, what if I'm attracted to someone else? |
| 2:12.3 | So what do I do if I've met someone who isn't my spouse and I am very attracted to them. |
... |
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