‘What if I’m a paedophile?’ The intrusive thoughts that haunted Uma

All In The Mind

ABC

Life Sciences, Health & Fitness, Science

4.4 • 785 Ratings

🗓️ 15 November 2025

⏱️ 30 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

You've probably experienced intrusive thoughts — bizarre, fleeting, sometimes inappropriate thoughts that cross your mind without warning. Although these can be weird to experience, they're totally normal.

But for people with obsessive compulsive disorder these thoughts can become inescapable — leading to worry, compulsions and shame.

Today we're talking about OCD, because it's often quite different from the stereotype of handwashing and lining up pencils. It can venture into taboo and dangerous thoughts, from paedophilia to violent harm.

So what does living with these unwanted thoughts feel like? And how much can treatment improve OCD symptoms?

This episode covers some heavy topics from sexual abuse to suicide. There are also a few swear words. Please take care while listening.

Guests:

Uma Chatterjee, M.S., MHPSNeuroscience PhD student, University of Wisconsin-MadisonScience communicatorMental health advocate

Martin IngleWriter and filmmaker

Professor Vlasios BrakouliasPsychiatristSydney Medical School, Westmead Hospital

Credits:

Presenter/producer: Sana Qadar
Producer: Rose Kerr
Senior Producer: James Bullen
Sound engineer: Timothy Jenkins

You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.

Support:

Lifeline 13 11 14

SANE Australia

ARCVic Helpline 1300 269 438

More information:

You Can't Ask That - OCD episode

Transcript

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0:00.0	ABC Listen, Podcasts, Radio, News, Music and more.
0:07.7	A body on the train tracks in mysterious circumstances.
0:11.8	Mark's been found on the railway tracks.
0:14.0	An award-winning ABC podcast and a fresh inquest underway.
0:18.0	Every time we walk out of that inquest, it's being like, oh my God.
0:22.0	You weren't out there on the train tracks that night?
0:24.0	Absolutely not.
0:25.0	As the answers get closer, the podcast is back.
0:28.0	He said he's guilty.
0:29.4	He's guilty as sin.
0:30.8	Search for Unravel Blood on the Tracks.
0:33.0	It's on the ABC Listen app or wherever you get your podcasts.
0:42.5	A quick heads up before we start. This episode discusses sexual abuse as well as suicide.
0:46.7	There's also a couple of swear words in there. Take care while listening.
1:02.0	Can you describe your earliest memory of an intrusive thought? I was probably three or four years old, very, very young before going to school. And I was being taught prayers by my parents.
1:07.0	There was a set of 12 prayers in Hindu tradition that they taught me. And I began thinking,
1:14.3	what if my parents don't come home alive? And I need to control that by doing these prayers 39 times.
1:24.0	So that cycle of 12 prayers 39 times, which became intrusive thought, they might die if I don't do this and
1:30.8	compulsion. That. Why 39 times? Great question. It's just, actually, it's the number three has been a number that my
1:39.8	brain is arbitrarily decided is safe and good. And so three times three is nine, which makes it even better.
1:45.3	But three and nine together somehow in my little brain.
1:48.8	It's very lucky.
	...

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