What Every Conflict Is Actually About

the goop podcast

Gwyneth Paltrow

Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Education

4.3 • 7.1K Ratings

🗓️ 21 May 2019

⏱️ 61 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

“Before I can change your mind, I need to understand where your mind is,” says pro negotiator Daniel Shapiro. The founder and director of the Harvard International Negotiation Program, Shapiro has advised all sorts of people and organizations through conflict: families, CEOS, heads of state, Fortune 500 companies. He’s found that every conflict has a few things in common: Two sides typically get into conflict when they don’t feel appreciated by the other. And the way out of conflict is a dance that moves you toward a deeper understanding of the other side, which, Shapiro explains, “can really unlock emotional deadbolts in a relationship.” In this episode, Shapiro takes our chief content officer, Elise Loehnen, through one of her own wife-husband conflicts. They talk about accommodators versus confronters, what healthy confrontation looks like, how to deal (or not) with someone who is completely mired in conflict, how to set boundaries, and why the trivial is not trivial. (For more, see The goop Podcast hub.) To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to the Goop podcast made possible by our friends at Kettle One Botanical.
0:14.4	One of my goals for the year is to spend more time with friends who I haven't seen nearly
0:18.5	enough of.
0:19.5	Preferably, these ketchup happen over a good drink or two.
0:23.3	For these occasions, I like to have our home bar stocked up with Kettle One Botanical.
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0:35.8	If you're looking for recipe ideas, I highly suggest trying the botanical breeze or Lady
0:40.5	Kombucha Cooler from Goop.com.
0:43.4	The other reason we like Kettle One Botanical is because it's made with non-GMO grain and
0:48.2	doesn't contain sugar or artificial sweeteners.
0:50.7	They've got three varietals, cucumber and mint, grapefruit and rose, and peach and orange
0:55.9	blossom.
0:57.0	To shop for Kettle One Botanical, head to drizly.com.
1:00.6	That's drizly.com.
1:03.8	Don't hold anything too tightly.
1:11.5	Just wish for it, want it, let it come from the intention of real truth for you, and then
1:18.3	let it go.
1:19.3	For me, our soul is like it's unbound.
1:22.7	It's limitless, but we will use words to limit ourselves.
1:27.5	When people stop believing that somebody's got your back or Superman's coming, we turn
1:33.8	to ourselves, and that's where you become empowered.
	...

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