Today's episode has a trigger warning.

We will talk about alcohol and violence.

The cattle's boiled, Vic.

Great, perfect timing.

Just a dash of milk for me, please, mate.

Here you go.

Should we get started then?

Have you ever woken up on a Sunday morning and said I'm never drinking again and then found yourself waving 50 bucks at a barman by happy hour? Are you wondering why everyone

else can stop at one while you head to a dodgy after party with a weird bloke called Disco Dave?

If so, it might be time to take a deeper look at your relationship with your reliable social crutch, alcohol.

On each episode, we'll investigate our own dysfunctional dealings with booze

and find out if it's possible to stop this deeply ingrained habit before things get too messy.

Yep, we're going to open up a shame shed of

humiliating drinking stories to help you understand why waking up from a booze coma each weekend

with a kebab sticking out of your top pocket might actually be negatively impacting your health.

Hamish and I are here to delve into what it's like being sober, an unwanted warts and all

look into why giving up those cheeky pints or putting down those mummy wines will make you feel happier, help your anxiety and mental health and turn you into the most sparkly authentic version of you. Won't that mean I become boring though, Vic? Well, Hamish, we'll just have to wait and see. I'm Victoria Vanstone. I'm Hamish Adams-Kans.

And this is sober awkward.

Very punchy, are we?

If we could do a whole episode about celebrities we'd punch, we would have done it earlier than this.

We would have done. That's so true. So did you know, Hamish, that bin's drinking increases the likelihood of not only becoming aggressive and angry, but also being on the receiving end of someone else's anger? Yes, I did know that. I'm not a total idiot. It's not a did you know kind of fact, that, is it? It's not a did you know kind of fact. No, it's like clearly you knew because you've drunk before and been in fights. Yeah.

Seen fights in my situation. So no, I did know that. I would say almost every fight I've ever seen has involved booze. Yeah, I would too. Except for maybe the fights on like sporting pitches. Yes. I've run the players swing at each other. There's no booze involved there. But yeah, every fight, high percentages of fights are booze. I would say 99% of fights are boozy. Anyway, we all know a night out can get messy. Someone might spill a pie on you. You might look at someone the wrong way. You might even grab the attention of someone for no reason at all. And sometimes after the pub closes, people spill out onto the street and

...