Hi, you're listening to Small Things Often from the Gottman Institute, where we talk you through

research-based tips to help improve your relationships in five minutes or less.

Today's tip is about seasons of love. Before you start singing that song from Rent,

sorry if we made you start, it's important to recognize that relationships have seasons.

When hard times are hard, remember that it'll pass. And when it's good, hold on to it. Cherish it.

Because that'll pass too. But ultimately, there's something to appreciate about each season.

Lean into that appreciation. Hard days will return, but so will the good ones.

Think back to when you first entered your relationship with your partner. There was likely

tons of passion, romance, a certain excitement where you couldn't wait to see or talk to each other.

You couldn't get enough. And those butterflies were big enough to actually make you nauseous.

This is called Limerence, or the honeymoon phase.

And it's called a phase for a reason.

While some of those early feelings stick around in some relationships, the newness will wear off.

It's a season of love.

So what happens when you and your partner go from hot and heavy to early bird

specials in ratty pajamas? It's not necessarily a bad thing. Shifts in the relationship's dynamic can be

unsettling at first, especially when they feel like they happen unexpectedly. But you're growing and

becoming comfortable with each other, and your relationship is getting stronger with each

passing season. Everyone has a season they like best, or are most comfortable in. And it's a good

idea to talk about it. Be open with your partner. Ask them, what season do you think our relationship

is in right now? How does that make you feel? Talk about what you can learn from the season that you're currently in.

Here's today's Small Thing. Embrace the seasonal shifts in your relationship. Discuss the

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