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Small Things Often

Here's One Simple Question to Learn More About Your Partner

Small Things Often

SpokenLayer

Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Education, Relationships

4.8787 Ratings

🗓️ 14 October 2020

⏱️ 2 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

How much do you REALLY know about your partner? On this episode of Small Things Often, discover how one simple question can open up new levels of understanding, trust and friendship. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hi, you're listening to Small Things Often from the Gottman Institute, where we talk you through

0:06.2

research-based tips to help improve your relationships in five minutes or less.

0:11.5

Today's tip is about asking the question. Tell me something I don't know about you.

0:17.0

Has something like this ever happened to you? You're having dinner with your partner and another couple.

0:22.6

Suddenly the conversation turns to your childhoods, and one of your friends asks your partner what they wanted to be when they grew up.

0:29.4

Your partner's eyes suddenly light up, and they talk about their dream to be in the space program.

0:34.6

How they plastered their bedroom walls with pictures of moons and stars and famous

0:38.5

astronauts. How they read every book on the subject. You turn to your partner and say,

0:43.9

I never knew that. And your partner shrugs and says with a smile, you never asked me. Think about it.

0:51.3

You may believe you know everything there is to know about your partner,

0:54.9

that you've heard all their stories so well, that you could probably recite them by heart.

1:00.1

But here's the thing. You don't know what you don't know. And if you want to find out,

1:05.5

you need to ask. So where do you begin? Start out by asking, what's something I don't know about you? This may open up a part of your partner's life they've never shared, hopes or goals they've hidden away and kept deep within themselves, or emotional parts of themselves that will give you a better understanding about why they react the way they do to certain situations. And don't forget that sharing your inner

1:27.7

selves with each other isn't a one-time thing. It's a lifelong process. If you ask your partner

1:33.4

which country they most want to visit in the world, it might not be the same as it was a few years

1:38.5

ago. The point is to keep asking each other questions throughout your relationship. Remember the

1:43.6

answers and then ask some more.

1:46.0

The rewards of this one simple question, tell me something I don't know about you, can open up new

1:52.3

levels of emotional connection and trust because the healthiest happiest happiest relationships are built

1:58.0

not only on love, but on deep friendship and understanding.

2:02.8

Today's Small Thing, go on a date night with your partner and ask them to tell you a story

2:08.2

about themselves they've never told you before. Never stop asking questions and learning about

...

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