What amazing comebacks have you heard come out of nowhere?

In 10th grade, my friend called a classmate illiterate.

He replied,

Jokes on you, I don't know what that means.

I think about that, a lot.

Story I heard from a parent-teacher conference.

A mum got back a report for her son's school stating that he was illiterate.

Her response, that's a dirty lie. His dad and I were married two days before he was born.

My grandma was playing bridge with her friends and the subject of age did come up. My grandma said

she was 63 and the next woman said, A lady doesn't discuss such things.

So my grandma said, oh, don't worry, dear, I'm sure when I'm your age, I won't want to discuss it either.

Damn, I've noticed that old people can throw shade that we can only marvel at. They've got this

sweet experience that can only come with age and a lifetime to hone their skills.

There was this guy at a frat party that whipped out his pecker in front of this girl and asked her

what it looked like. Without missing a beat, she replied, it looks like a male member of the smaller.

My mother-in-law is 4'11. She once asked a 6'5 co-worker of mine if he played basketball. To which he

replied, No, do you play miniature golf? My friend is 4'10. A larger man at work likes to constantly

point this out to her, as if she's in some way unaware of it. One day she got sick of him, it went

something along the lines of him saying, well, at least

I'm not a short ass like you are.

And her saying, at least I'm not fat like you.

Well, that's going a bit far, isn't it?

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