5 • 608 Ratings
🗓️ 6 February 2025
⏱️ 36 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
We’re back for another week in the flames of hell, and this episode gets both creepy and filthy: Daniel spills the true tale of a mysterious urinal eye, leaving the infernal aunties speechless. Then, after declaring swans the gay mafia, Dane and Daniel dish out some devilish advice: “Someone I barely know wants me to be her maid of honour… what on earth do I say in the speech?!”
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0:00.0 | Welcome to Welcome to Welcome to Hell, the podcast for sinners, where you send us your tales of iniquity and we offer our infernal judgment. |
0:18.0 | So you died, get over it. We have somersault through that fiery gate and join us as we celebrate the salacious, bask in the bitchy and revel in a good old-fashioned gossip. I like the Indian Bollywood hand that you just did them. With me, Daniel Fox, comedian and hell's resident receptionist. And me, Dane Buckley, comedian and lapsed angel. Did you see the neck choreography I did, though? It was really lovely. I heard a crack then. Yeah, yeah. The creaking of those old hinges. Darling! You're on drinks. Now, to our right, we have a kind of orangey-ready limiter. I'm calling it hex on the beach. Actually, have we had that. We may have had that in season one. This is another hex on the, there's only so many hellish. Hex on the beach, Doua. Duar. Doe. Little sip. Oh gosh. What is it? Watermelon. Yeah. Pineapple. Yeah. Mint. But they're all nice things. There's a little bit of vodka. Yeah. Is that it? I just think none of it was particularly sweet. I think I've somehow managed to find a watermelon juice that is like not sweet. How did you find unsweetened pineapple? It smells like old water. You know, it does smell. It's like if dish water was a drink. Exactly that. I think it was nice and then it found out it was my drink and it went, oh, I better be horrible. If ever you've had a little liquid in a flask and you just sealed the lid and you come to it a month later. It tastes like when you leave a wet cup upside down. Smell it. Oh my God. Oh, well, I'm sorry about that. Well, that's lovely. Strong, though. |
1:44.8 | Yeah, strong. |
1:41.6 | How are you, my darling? I'm good. I'm back from Thailand. Back to life. Back to rea. Do you know this song? I'm too young. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I was about to jump over there and absolutely slap you. I'm good, yeah, getting back into it. |
1:43.9 | I want to speak up for someone in my life right now. |
1:44.2 | Okay. |
2:50.9 | Bishop Marion Bood. Yeah. The American, yeah. Oh, she's great. Oh my God. The one who at the inauguration kind of thing, gave that speech. What balls. So cool. What balls. Did you see the follow-up? No. So she did like a follow-up, like in some interview where she, obviously like the Republicans of America are now like, oh, we're going to ruin your life. Yeah. And they would all speak in that sort of liberal upper New York accent. We're going to ruin your life. Darling. Darling, I think we're going to ruin your life. Jeff Goldblum hates her. But she was like, oh, I'm not going to apologize. She's like, I can't apologize for asking for like peace. Their faces. Oh, it's vile. Melania is it frozen face? I love Melania. Yeah, but did you see her face at that time? I'm coming out as a Melania stand. Of course you do. But in that moment. I think she fucking hates him. Side note. Yeah. She won't kiss him. She went there anywhere near her. |
2:54.7 | She looks horrified and disgusted by him all the time. It tells you something, though, where we're like, a priest is standing up for human rights. Oh my God. When a priest is like, can we be a bit nicer to trans people? |
2:48.2 | Yeah, yeah, you're like, wow. |
2:49.2 | It's a bleak turn of events, isn't it? |
2:51.6 | When the church is having to step in in America, |
2:54.1 | to be like, actually, should we turn it down? |
2:56.5 | That should be when they're like, you know what, guys, I think maybe. But, I mean, hard time for our American Deviled X. Tough times. It's going to be a tough time. And we can offer our support. Well, you've got big sofa they can kip on if they need to come over. They can come to my double sofa. I'll make them dindins. I'm thinking of getting a new sofa. |
3:08.3 | Oh, okay. |
3:08.9 | Huge news. Oh my god, yeah. What colour? Well, maybe I might stick with the mustard that I already have. Or brown. Oh, your pallet's really going far. And shout out here to the Omu Teddy sofa, which I keep being advertised on Instagram, |
3:42.5 | if they want to send me one. |
3:44.8 | That can be this podcast sports for a week. |
3:46.4 | One time I was looking to talk about politics and you shout about your sofa. |
3:50.2 | Brought around a sofa. |
3:51.2 | Me shilling for a sofa immediately. |
3:53.9 | Never mind the American people. |
3:55.2 | I'm really, like, really proud of you for knowing a thing that happened in this decade. |
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