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The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly

Weed Santa with Ari Shaffir

The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly

SiriusXM

Robert Kelly, Comedy Interviews, Comedy, Jay Oakerson

4.83.5K Ratings

🗓️ 12 August 2025

⏱️ 55 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The great Ari Shaffir is moving away but stopped by to say goodbye to his friends at The Bonfire and give some hallucinogenic gifts to the staff. Another present he gave was the brick he received for selling out The Paramount Theater on Long Island. | Jay is set to see the Wu-Tang concert at Madison Square Garden and warns Bobby about what he can expect at the show. | Bob first discovers that Elon Musk created an A.I. girlfriend on Grok. It's very new to him, so he starts by asking her simple questions before he graduates to sexual orders. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more! FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

Transcript

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0:00.0

And now, the Bonfire with Big J. O'Kerson and Robert Kelly. Hey, everybody. Name me, work it, working, baby. It's Wednesday. Woo Wednesday. Woo Wednesday. And it's hot as shit. It's hot as shit out. It's hot. That's because the killer bees are on swarm. I don't know if you know. What? The killer bees are on a swarm. You can't go in there not knowing what that means. On us,

0:00.6

SwarmRoss. I don't know if you know. What? The killer bees are on a swarm.

0:21.6

You can't go in there not knowing what that means. On a swarm or on swarm? Oh, you mean. You're nervous. I'm nervous. You're nervous about tonight. Yeah, I am nervous. You're going to see right through you. Can I tell you why? Yeah. I've never been to a rap concert. Really? No. Terrifying.

0:17.2

Let me tell you which, let me tell you, let me tell you what you expect.

0:20.0

Underwhelming.

0:21.3

Really?

0:22.2

Well. really no it's terrifying let me tell you what let me tell you let me tell what to

0:38.0

expect underwhelming well is it performance wise yes it's just a bunch of people like

0:44.5

who's even talking right now yeah I've just that it is Wu-Tang so I know every song I've only

0:49.0

been to rock and roll yeah I've never I've never been to rap rap concert ever in my life white jazz so I'm a little I've been to jazz some light jazz you've seen I've seen jazz I've seen hard jazz yeah even some hard jazz but yeah this is going to be uh yeah it's interesting it's gonna be extraordinarily white it's Wutang Clan around the Jules it's gonna be extraordinarily white all right it's like going to be extraordinarily white. It's Wu-Tang Clan run the jewels. It's going to be extraordinarily white.

1:12.6

It's like going to see Cypress Hill.

1:14.6

What are the odds of a trampling?

1:16.6

Zero.

1:17.6

That's not a wrap concert then.

1:18.6

Also all seats.

1:20.6

Almost no chance to chance.

1:22.6

Whatever chance there was is now gone.

1:24.6

Because Tyler the creator last night, full floor was pit. Nice. He used the entire place. He has a bridge that goes over the audience and then to a smaller state. It was, what a show. I'm going to do that my next special. I'm going to do a bridge that goes over my audience. You know what? You should. You should walk over the audience. Do a little bit your second part of your set. At At the comedy connection in Providence, I'm just going to build the bridge over the audience and a coy pond in the middle. You do CBA. You do your C material on main stage and then B on the bridge and then on small stage you hit your A. Maybe I do B on one side, C on the other, A on the top. A over on the bridge. On the bridge. Oof, bold. Sounds good. What are you, what are you doing? He's trying to give away everything in his life. What are you giving him? Giving him some, uh, his native. Oh, he's giving Paco, uh, tire, eye rounding and cream? Who likes edibles? Little racist, sorry. Yeah. Look at it at. What are you giving out? He gave him a pack of Newports. Stuff. He gets me if you liked edibles, then he gave a pack of newports. You racist, son of a bitch, Ari. You're more of a mushroom guy, aren't you? How can you act like this, Ari? You know Black Lou has been with Israel since day one. White Lou? Did you just give him mushroom stuff? Yes.

2:34.8

I liked it. He's just give him shit away.

2:36.0

Mushroom what? What is it, Ari? Pills. Mushroom pills. Ari Shafir, everybody who's joining us on the show. Hi, guys. He's playing, which is one of the favorite things for a podhead to be able to do is fun, to be weed Santa. What is this?

2:30.9

What?

2:31.6

He's sober.

...

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