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Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Wednesday, 9.3.25

Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Audacy

Comedy

4.91.7K Ratings

🗓️ 3 September 2025

⏱️ 119 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Lazlo and SlimFast get into a BIG soup argument. Lazlo purposely leaves his clocks off by a couple minutes, and it’s driving SlimFast CRAZY! How did SlimFast get his pantyhose fetish? In Headlines, SlimFast and Lazlo discuss the Florida man who asked to sniff a lady's sneakers, then ran her over. Additionally, how Trump is alive, staples are being found in Texas Roadhouse bread, a 11 year old who got killed due to dingdong ditching, and much more. Stream The Church of Lazlo Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Transcript

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0:00.0

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.

0:11.0

Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness.

0:18.0

For he is truly his brother's keeper and finder of lost children.

0:23.6

And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt

0:30.6

to poison and destroy my brothers.

0:34.6

And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon me.

0:42.0

Ladies and gentlemen, the Church of Laslow has begun.

0:47.7

Yo!

0:48.2

My man, how are you?

0:50.5

I've never been better than right now.

0:53.6

Oh, good.

0:56.0

How are you? Good, man. This has been a big carnival soup day last night you're not happy i actually did eat soup but

1:01.3

i didn't get a text of our own producer that just said in quotes so you guys just sit around

1:07.1

all weekend and eat carnival soup okay who's who sent that oh man who's sitting you that

1:13.2

yeah i just someone you should work with yeah who snow cone oh okay so ha ha you guys are laughing

1:19.9

behind my back again but he haven't listened for a long time he was a guy uh he was a producer

1:24.4

he wasn't like really a producer, he was just a drug dealer.

1:24.9

Like we have a real producer now. Yeah, she like does stuff, right? But, you mean, she doesn't come to work with drugs, so there's like, well, that, it's a tradeoff. You don't need to come to work with drugs. No, you know. You don't. Don't feel pressure there, please. I know our boss. I can hear him now, see him. Why does you pressure her?

1:26.5

I'm just saying.

1:26.9

Right.

1:45.4

She doesn't bring drugs right but she brings you know like a skill

1:50.7

a skill set a skill set but he bought drugs yes the problem was he didn't show up most of time uh well

...

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