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Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Wednesday, 1.7.26

Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Audacy

Comedy

4.91.7K Ratings

🗓️ 7 January 2026

⏱️ 116 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Pork Patty = Slims’ Mom. What' s the worst pain you’ve ever experienced? We are Venezuelan, and they are us! Lazlo had his weiner held in a bathroom, and is going to get a wheelchair with an anime girl. In Headlines, the guys discuss the Ravens coach getting fired, the USA getting 50 million barrels of oil from Venezuela, the different robots shown at the CES Convention, the ongoing investigation into an A&M students’ death, and much much more! Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Transcript

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0:00.0

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.

0:11.0

Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness.

0:18.0

For he is truly his brother's keeper and finder of lost children.

0:23.8

And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt

0:31.2

to poison and destroy my brothers.

0:34.4

And you will know my name is the lord when i lay my vengeance upon me ladies and gentlemen

0:43.2

the church of laslow has begun yo yo my man how are you man oh man oh man never better how are you

0:52.8

i'm great good no problems glad to No problems. Glad to you hear it.

0:55.7

Yeah. Do you mean it when you say that? Well, I mean, you know, yeah, I'm okay. Did you give yourself injections this morning?

1:02.0

I did. And I, you know, I even showered, which I don't usually have the time to do that.

1:07.1

I hit snooze on the alarm a couple times. So I've kind of got it down to a science now.

1:11.9

You know, when I first started doing it, I was like, I'm going to be late.

1:13.7

I don't know how to do this.

1:14.6

First started doing morning? time to do that. I hit snooze on the alarm a couple times, so I've kind of got it down to a science now. You know, when I first started

1:12.7

doing it, I was like, I'm going to be late, I don't know how to do this.

1:14.6

First started doing mornings or the health stuff? The health job. The mornings is fine. You're just kind of, you know, drag your ass in your car. But then when you're like, okay, I got to get up, and I have to shower

1:23.8

and I have to make coffee

1:25.8

and oh yeah I have to inject myself with medicine

1:28.3

like that extra thing is like

1:30.3

it's a pretty big extra thing and to shower and I have to make coffee and oh yeah I have to inject myself with medicine.

1:28.6

Like that extra thing is like it's a pretty big extra thing and then aren't you supposed

1:32.1

to also after you do the medicine sit there for a while or something? Well I don't have to

...

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