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Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Wednesday, 05.14.25

Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Audacy

Comedy

4.91.7K Ratings

🗓️ 14 May 2025

⏱️ 100 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

*If you have $500 and an Xbox, you can afford to have someone clean your house. *Renting other people's houses on vacation is so 2018. Renting other people is where it's at. *Lazlo and Ben Affleck are one hangout away from being besties. *A new book claims that...wait for it... Joe Biden is a confused old man! *A.I. continues to amaze (and scare the hell out of) us. *The Bears are in town. *Can a hobby be a red flag? Yes, obviously it can. *Pete Rose is no longer ineligible. Too bad he's also no longer alive. *Should you consider giving a psychic all your money? Reply hazy, try again.

Transcript

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0:00.0

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.

0:11.0

Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness.

0:18.0

For he is truly his brother's keeper and finder of lost children.

0:23.6

And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt

0:30.6

to poison and destroy my brothers.

0:34.6

And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon me.

0:41.9

Ladies and gentlemen, the Church of Laslow has begun.

0:47.5

My man, how are you?

0:48.8

Yo, I'm pretty good. How are you?

0:51.2

I'm great, man, no problems.

0:52.6

I almost ever slept if I'm being honest.

0:54.9

Oh, yeah?

0:55.4

First time. Yeah, I just...

0:57.6

I guess. I try to be as careful as I can.

1:01.1

I've got the separate alarms in another part of the room, so I have to get up and a lot.

1:04.8

But the truth is, since we started this shift, when my alarm goes off, I've been waking up.

1:08.8

Yeah. It's probably just because, you know, you're nervous about screwing up,

1:11.9

and you're like, all right, let's get going.

1:13.5

Well, you're here.

1:14.9

I negotiated. I wasn't negotiating the first week.

1:18.3

Right, exactly.

1:18.8

So when the alarm got up off, I just got up and wanted in the shower.

...

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