Wedding Woes About My Mom

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Esther Perel Global Media

Society & Culture, Education, Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Self-improvement

4.7 • 16.4K Ratings

🗓️ 13 April 2026

⏱️ 55 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

She’s getting married soon, but before she walks down the aisle, she wants to walk toward her mother with more understanding. Years of complicated emotions since her parents’ divorce have built walls between them. With Esther’s insight, she learns how to acknowledge her own feelings, understand her mother’s defenses, and lay the groundwork for a more loving connection. Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com. Producer’s Note: When our anonymous guests do a session with Esther for the podcast, it is an act of generosity for everyone who listens. These sessions are meant not only to support the people in the room with Esther, but all of us who learn from their stories. Our stories have many chapters, and what you hear is just one moment in someone’s journey. So even though the sessions are anonymous, please remember that real people are behind them and they may be reading your comments. My annual Sessions Live two-day live event is coming up next month! Through clinical, cultural, and creative perspectives, Sessions Live 2026: Cultivating Aliveness: Desire & Its Disruptions explores how relationships are evolving, and how we can translate those insights into practice. Whether you’re a practicing clinician or curious mind, you’ll discover fresh insights and takeaways to help you connect and thrive. Come see me live on May 15th and 16th in NYC! Podcast listeners get a special discount with the code FRIENDSLIVE to get $100 off an in-person ticket, or FRIENDSVIRTUAL for $50 off a virtual ticket at checkout on the Sessions Live ticket page. Also, please join me on Entre Nous, my new home on Substack for anyone who wants to live, love, and work with more connection and imagination. I invite you to sign up and become a free or paid member at estherperel.substack.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	My mom and I have gone through many phases over the last 10 years, and there's this cycle that typically goes.
0:12.7	Everything's kind of fine. She's doing things or saying things that make me feel uncomfortable or upset,
0:19.2	but I'm, you know, dealing with them on my own. I'm not
0:22.3	expressing it. And then at some point, it all becomes too much and it all comes out. So I say how I feel
0:31.2	that makes her angry. We don't talk for a while. Then we have some sort of resolution conversation
0:37.3	in which I feel cautiously
0:39.6	optimistic that a different kind of relationship is possible, then we kind of rinse and repeat.
0:48.2	And so when I first reached out, we were kind of at the beginning of that cycle again.
0:52.7	We'd had one of those blowout conversations.
0:55.7	And I was just feeling and still am feeling like there's got to be something else to try
1:03.1	because I really feel like I'm just running into the same wall over and over again.
1:09.2	You know, now I would say my mom and I are kind of back in a peaceful place where we're speaking,
1:15.5	but I still feel quite guarded.
1:17.9	And so I guess my central question, is there another way to do this?
1:24.7	Is there another way that I can interact with her and rebuild this relationship
1:33.2	that doesn't leave me feeling either like I'm putting myself in an emotionally unsafe position
1:39.7	or I'm ignoring my true feelings of hurt.
1:50.0	Dell PCs with Intel Insider built for the moments you plan,
1:56.0	and for the ones you don't,
1:58.0	for when you're binge watching your favourite series,
2:03.9	those moments where you have your go-to song on repeat,
2:08.0	or the times you're deep into a movie and don't want any distractions.
	...

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