Weaponized Incompetence (Deep Dive)
Psychology In Seattle Podcast
Kirk Honda
4.6 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 30 July 2025
⏱️ 26 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/KIRK to get 10% off your first month.
00:00 When did the term come around?
07:27 Is there a gendered double standard?
09:39 What does the internet define as weaponized incompetence?
25:59 Dr. Kirk's definition
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July 30, 2025
The Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey, Desirving listeners. So today's episode is a mini deep dive on the concept of weaponized |
| 0:06.7 | incompetence. I have been seeing a lot of chatter about this concept over the last few years online, |
| 0:13.2 | I think particularly on TikTok, and I wanted to lock down a definition while also providing some nuance and context and an evaluation |
| 0:25.6 | of all the elements of the definition. |
| 0:28.6 | So let's get into it. |
| 0:29.6 | My name is Dr. Kirkonda. |
| 0:30.6 | I'm a therapist and a professor. |
| 0:33.6 | I was trying to find out why it became a viral idea over the last few years. |
| 0:41.6 | I wasn't even really quite sure if it was. |
| 0:43.5 | It was just sort of my sense. |
| 0:44.5 | But I came across this article on wondermind.com. |
| 0:48.6 | And they claim to have an explanation as to why it has been more popular lately. I don't know if this |
| 0:57.0 | is accurate, but I thought I would share it. They write, the hype around this term of weaponized |
| 1:03.8 | incompetence first started making the rounds on TikTok back in 2021 after Laura Danger, apparently a TikToker, Laura Danger responded to a viral video of a man |
| 1:15.3 | who fell asleep when he was supposed to be watching his baby while his wife took a shower. |
| 1:20.1 | She said this is an example of how incompetence is weaponized. |
| 1:25.6 | So instead of being an equal responsive partner, the father slept on the job. |
| 1:32.0 | Okay. So, yeah, I could see that scenario where there's a video of a husband who is sleeping while he's supposed to be watching a child. |
| 1:41.3 | I mean, it sounds kind of dangerous, right? And I could imagine a lot of |
| 1:45.8 | people relating to this, right? In a variety of ways, how it reveals a common experience. |
| 1:54.1 | And with terms like this on the Internet, you know, there's positive and neutral and negative elements of these trends, |
| 2:04.7 | like with the term gaslighting or narcissist or something. |
... |
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