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Motherkind

We've been sold a lie. Stop trying to be a "good girl" in a broken system

Motherkind

Zoe Blaskey

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.8 • 863 Ratings

🗓️ 23 March 2026

⏱️ 9 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

If you feel exhausted, resentful, or like you’re quietly failing at motherhood, this might explain why. In this powerful solo episode, Zoe explores the hidden force shaping how so many millennial mothers show up in their lives: good girl conditioning. It’s the unspoken programme many of us were raised with - be nice, be agreeable, don’t complain, don’t ask for too much, put everyone else first. And while it might have helped us succeed before children… motherhood is often where it all starts to unravel. Because suddenly, the expectations double. The pressure increases. The support often doesn’t. And instead of questioning the system, we question ourselves. In this deeply validating episode, Zoe explains why you’re not failing, you’re just running a programme that was never designed for the reality of modern motherhood. She also shares how to begin breaking free, gently, compassionately, and in a way that actually works in real life. . Why “good girl conditioning” leads to burnout, resentment and over-giving . Why motherhood often exposes this pattern more than any other life stage . How to reconnect with your own needs (even if you don’t know what they are yet) . Simple, practical ways to start breaking the pattern — one small step at a time If you’ve ever felt like you’re holding everything together while quietly falling apart… If you struggle to ask for help, rest without guilt, or say what you really need… This episode will help you understand why and what you can start to do differently. Because you are not failing. You are responding exactly as you were taught to. And you can choose a new way 💛 Watch every full episode on YouTube and subscribe.  Loved this episode? Follow or subscribe so you never miss an episode of Motherkind. It helps more mothers find the show and keeps our community growing. If you enjoyed this episode, you might also enjoy Zoe’s conversation with Emma Reed-Turrell. How to stop people-pleasing and get your time, energy and joy back Feeling different since becoming a mother? Get clarity on who you’re becoming now and download your FREE Matrescence Cheat Sheet Connect with Zoe: . Follow Zoe on Instagram, LinkedIn and TikTok . Get Zoe’s Sunday Times bestselling book, 'Motherkind: A New Way to Thrive in a World of Endless Expectations’ This Motherkind episode is sponsored by: Headline sponsor Wild Nutrition, the brand raising the bar for women’s supplements. Want to feel the Food-Grown difference yourself? Get 50% off for three months at wildnutrition.com/motherkind. Ts and Cs apply. For a £100 sponsored job credit, visit Indeed.com/ Motherkind 💡 In this episode, you’ll learn:Start your children’s reading journey with Usbourne Books Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

This episode is sponsored by Osborne Books. I read non-stop to my girls when they were little,

0:07.1

and I have to say now they're 10 and 6. They are both avid readers. I really believe it's never too

0:13.2

early to start reading to your little ones. Osbournes don't tickle, touchy, feely soundbooks are

0:19.5

perfect to start their love of books. With a sound to

0:23.7

discover as you press each touchy-feely patch, these books are full of surprises for babies and

0:29.4

toddlers and even have music at the end. From dinosaurs and ducks to unicorns and tigers,

0:34.2

there are over 20 books to choose from, including the latest book, Don't Tickle the Donkey. As well as providing lots of fun and giggles, the books also support

0:43.4

sensory development. Start their reading journey with Don't Tickle Touchy, Feely Sound Books,

0:49.8

available from all good booksellers.

0:56.7

Hi, I'm Zoe. Welcome back to Motherkind. This is the show about you, the woman behind the mother,

1:01.9

and I am so happy that you are here. So if you are exhausted or resentful or overwhelmed and kind of

1:09.2

secretly wondering, why does this feel extra hard,

1:12.4

then this episode is for you because today we are talking about good girl conditioning

1:17.6

and why it especially hits us millennial mothers. So good girl conditioning, it's not personality

1:24.4

trait. It's actually not just the way that you are. It's actually a program that so many of us learned that says be nice, be agreeable, be grateful,

1:35.1

don't complain, don't ask for too much, work harder, smile more, put others first.

1:40.7

Essentially, it was the memo that a lot of us got growing up. We were kind of trained

1:46.1

in this program perfectly because we were raised on two messages. You can be anything and have it

1:52.9

all, which we now know is a lie. And if you work hard enough, you'll succeed. So we are kind of perfectly set up to burn ourselves out, to work

2:06.5

too hard, to over perform, to over give, to keep pushing. And, you know, when we become mothers,

2:13.8

what I see and I hear every single day in our community is then the whole thing

2:18.0

collapses, right? Because the system means that we can't have it all. The workload doubled and

...

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