We’re Giving Up Performative Sex

Sex With Emily

Health & Fitness, Sexuality

4.2 • 6.7K Ratings

🗓️ 28 February 2025

⏱️ 38 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

We all experience performance anxiety in bed from time to time. We get in our heads, we worry we’re not hot / good / skilled enough, and sometimes we try to be people we’re not during sex. That’s why today’s episode is about identifying different types of performance anxiety, so that we can show up more confident and relaxed for sex. First I talk through O-blockers: common reasons your orgasm and overall pleasure hit a limit. Next I bring up popular “personas” people adopt in bed, like the cool girl/guy who’s down for whatever (even when you’re actually not) and the super dominant, in-charge lover (even when you’re actually more submissive). Finally, I give you strategies to increase your sexual confidence and take all of your sexual anxiety questions. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why performative sex is killing your pleasure—and how to stop. How to ditch “porn mode” and tap into real turn-ons. The secret to being fully present (and having better orgasms). Show Notes: For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code SWE. Buy The Smart Sex New Paperback Cover Now! Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. Yes! No! Maybe? List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY! (free shipping on orders over $99) The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube Let’s text: Sign up here Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com

Transcript

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0:00.0	Tell me if this sounds familiar.
0:04.8	New partner says to you, I'm super kinky.
0:07.2	What are you into?
0:08.2	And you have no idea how to answer.
0:09.8	Well, this is probably because your brain instinctively wants to say whatever they're into.
0:14.6	It's so much easier to just go with the flow or adopt the freaky persona.
0:19.4	But I'm telling you that if it's not coming from a place of total
0:22.1	honesty, like you don't really want to do the thing they're into, that might be sending
0:25.8	you up for anxiety-ridden sex.
0:28.5	And it's okay to say, you know what?
0:30.1	I'm still figuring out what I'm into.
0:33.5	You're listening to Sex with Emily.
0:35.7	I'm Dr. Emily, and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex.
0:42.2	Today we're talking about something many of us struggle with and that's anxiety in the bedroom.
0:47.2	Specifically, we're talking about the different pressures we might feel to act or perform in certain ways during sex that don't necessarily give us the most pleasure.
0:55.7	Tune in to find out ways you might be limiting your pleasure potential so that you can be more
0:59.9	authentic and more present in the bedroom.
1:02.3	Please rate and review sex with Emily wherever you listen to the podcast.
1:05.2	It just helps get the podcast out to more people like you.
1:08.1	You can find us on all social media.
1:09.8	It is at Sex with Emily. And don't forget
1:12.5	to check out my new articles, How to Master Seated Sex. And how to give an erotic massage on our website,
	...

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