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Don't answer the phone. Elvis Duran. The Elvis Duran phone tap. All right. Take it away, scary. Okay, Melissa, what do you want to do to your boyfriend, Mike? I want to tell him that I put a deposit on a purebred Pomeranian puppy without him knowing. And you guys live together? Yes, we live together. We just moved into an apartment, and the apartment actually charges a seat for pets. So he's not going to be happy at all?

No, not at all.

Let's get him on the phone tap.

Sounds good.

Mike speaking. How may I help you?

Hey Mike, this is Doug Walker.

I'm the private breeder that your girlfriend, Melissa, came in to see.

She was interested in one of my purebred Pomeranians.

Okay. When was she in contact with you about the dog?

Oh, last week. And she also left a $400 deposit.

Oh. I'll have to have, just, I guess she has your number, right?

Oh, yeah, she does. And all we need is the balance, $1,000, and we'll give you the dog. I really hate little dogs. What don't you like about little dogs? They're annoying, and I told her not to get it. Well, that's weird, though, because she said that this was happening. She had signed a contract with me. I'll have her get back to you. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Okay, bye. All right.

Hello.

I set the table for you. We're going to call him back, and you're going to continue the joke. Okay, great. Mike speaking. How may I help you? Hi, hon. Hi. It's me. Did a breeder call you today? Yeah. They called me at work and I wasn't here to get it.

They said you left a $400 deposit and signed a contract for a $1,400 dog that's not living in the condo? I told you that I wanted a puppy. I don't give it to $14.9? Yeah, you fucking on. Yeah, Eddie fucking on. Okay, first of all, everybody that I talked to says the Palm-Iranians get sick all the time. It doesn't get sick all the time. Oh, it doesn't get sick all the time. Oh, it doesn't get sick all the time. No, and it said on the website that it's an apartment dog.

I don't give it, honestly. It says the Palmyranians get sick all the time. It doesn't get sick all the time. Oh, it doesn't get sick all the time?

No, and it said on the website that it's an apartment dog.

I don't give a shit, honestly.

I'm not living with you with that fucking thing. Why? You always get what you want. Why can't I ever get what I want? It's my birthday. $1,400? My dog costs $750. I want the dog. I already signed a contract for... I don't give a shit.

First of all, we're in contract where the apartment doesn't allow dogs.

You just have to pay extra.

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