You're on The Birch Show.

Is it just as offensive for your significant other to try to quote unquote fatten you up, pull a little weight on you as it is to say, hey, you know what, maybe it's time for us to hit the gym a little bit.

It's the same thing because our producer Mikey is going through this right now.

Yeah, you know what?

I'm living high on the horse, mister.

I'm doing good.

Isn't it high on the hog?

High on the hog, baby.

I think Mikey's just high.

All right, here's the deals that my girlfriend about six months ago discovered a passion for cooking.

Mm-hmm.

And that's great news for me.

All I've eaten is fast food for 20 years.

And now I'm eating right. I'm eating good. But just recently, I've come to realize I have a theory.

I think that she didn't discover a passion for cooking. She discovered a passion for trying to shape me into a better man.

Put a little meat on your bones. Yeah, put a little meat on my bones.

So I've always been a weird alien twiggy looking thing.

Like, my dad always said that I had S-CLS, which is skinny chicken leg syndrome.

You're a little bit like the shape of that airy balloon you see out for a car dealership.

I'm a wak you're waving and platable arm, too, man.

So, yeah, I've been eating like nobody's business.

I have a list of things that she's been making me.

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