We don't "move on" from grief. We move forward with it | Nora McInerny

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4.1 • 11.9K Ratings

🗓️ 25 December 2019

⏱️ 15 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In a talk that's by turns heartbreaking and hilarious, writer and podcaster Nora McInerny shares her hard-earned wisdom about life and death. Her candid approach to something that will, let's face it, affect us all, is as liberating as it is gut-wrenching. Most powerfully, she encourages us to shift how we approach grief. "A grieving person is going to laugh again and smile again," she says. "They're going to move forward. But that doesn't mean that they've moved on."

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Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to a special archive presentation of TED Talks Daily. This TED Talk features author Nora McEnnerney, recorded live at TED Women 2018.
0:12.9	So 2014 was a big year for me. Do you ever have that just like a big year, like a banner year. For me, it went like this. October 3rd, I lost my second
0:22.6	pregnancy, and then October 8th, my dad died of cancer. And then on November 25th, my husband Aaron
0:29.6	died after three years with stage four glioblastoma, which is just a fancy word for brain cancer.
0:36.7	So I'm fun.
0:40.0	People love to invite me out all the time, packed social life.
0:45.7	Usually when I talk about this period of my life, the reaction I get is essentially, I can't imagine.
0:57.0	But I do think you can.
0:59.9	I think you can.
1:00.7	And I think that you should,
1:02.6	because someday it's going to happen to you,
1:05.2	maybe not these specific losses in this specific order
1:08.6	or at this speed,
1:09.9	but like I said, I'm very fun, and the research that I have seen will stun you.
1:15.0	Everyone you love has a 100% chance of dying.
1:20.9	And that's why you came to TED.
1:34.5	So since all of this last happened, I've made it a career to talk about death and loss, not just my own, because it's pretty easy to recap, but the losses and tragedies that other
1:40.0	people have experienced.
1:41.2	It's a niche, I have to say.
1:47.8	It's a small niche, and I wish I made more money.
1:55.9	But I've written some very uplifting books, host a very uplifting podcast. I started a little nonprofit. I'm just trying to do what I can to make more people comfortable with the
2:00.7	uncomfortable,
	...

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