Was I Married To A Stranger?

Modern Love

The New York Times

Storytelling, Nytimes, Nyt, Redemption, New York Times, Society & Culture, Loss, Essay, Love

4.3 • 9K Ratings

🗓️ 14 January 2026

⏱️ 55 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Belle Burden was living the kind of life most can only dream of. Born into a wealthy New York family, she married a dashing attorney who had swept her off her feet. The couple had a beautiful apartment in Manhattan, a summer house on Martha’s Vineyard, three children, and what Belle thought was a happy marriage. Then, after 20 years, with no warning, her husband told her he wanted a divorce. Belle remembers him saying, “You can have custody of the kids, you can have the house and the apartment. I don't want any part of this life anymore.” In a moment, he became a stranger to her. As Belle tried to understand the disintegration of her marriage, she made a decision that surprised people close to her: she shared her story with the world. In 2023, she published a Modern Love essay about her experience. Her new book, “Strangers: a Memoir of Marriage,” reveals more of her story. On today’s episode, Belle Burden talks about the abrupt and difficult end to her marriage, and how that led her to the start of a new life.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey everyone, it's Anna.
0:01.7	All right, before we start the show, I want to talk about Valentine's Day because, of course, we are already thinking about it over here at Modern Love.
0:10.0	We're hoping you can help us out.
0:11.9	We want to know the most romantic thing that's ever happened to you.
0:16.8	Or if it didn't happen to you, the most romantic thing you've ever seen or witnessed.
0:22.2	It could be something grand, a rom-com style gesture.
0:25.4	Maybe someone stood outside your window with the boom box or ran through the airport to stop you from leaving.
0:31.3	Or it could be something small.
0:33.1	Like, someone knows you hate olives, so they always pick them off your plate before you dig in.
0:37.7	Or someone slips a note in your lunchbox every morning
0:39.8	to remind you how much you mean to them.
0:42.5	Whatever made you feel that rush of romance
0:44.9	from the big moments to the tiny ones,
0:47.2	we want to hear about it.
0:48.9	And we want to know why it was so romantic to you.
0:51.7	If you have a story in mind,
0:53.0	record a voice memo and email it to us at Modern Love Podcast
0:57.1	at NYTimes.com by February 4th,
1:00.7	and we might use your story on the show.
1:03.1	That's Modern Love Podcast at NYTimes.com,
1:06.3	and once again, your deadline is February 4th.
1:10.7	Thanks so much.
	...

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