Just a disclaimer, we discuss some Christmas truths that may not be suitable for children.

One other note, I would suggest listening to our episode called Toy Riots as a companion to this one.

On this season, we'll be exploring our bizarre beliefs,

unfounded fears, and fantastical thinking,

how they shape our psychology and culture,

and how much of our past we can find in the present.

I'm your host, Chelsea Weber-Smith,

and this is American hysteria. We're not surrendering,

ladies and gentlemen. Merry Christmas to these devil worshippers and leftists. And these godless bullies will not stop until they've eradicated Christianity. How do you just revise it,

you know, in the middle of the legacy and change Santa from white to black?

Yeah, I mean, you can't.

I've got some bad news, folks.

Christmas is going to be canceled.

During my elementary school years, I remember tearing away the patterned wrapping paper on Christmas morning to uncover, at one time, a Super Nintendo, and a few years later, an N64.

All Christmas night, I played Donkey Kong or I played Golden Eye, either bouncing the bad guys to death or shooting them with a sniper rifle.

I knew I was the good guy because the game told me I was.

I was the beefy gorilla with a heart of gold or the slick James Bond, who despite his

more unsavory attributes, was the hero of the story.

Good and bad were always on my mind back then,

as I woke up with anxiety stomach aches because I so wanted to be good. I wanted it really more than any of the gifts I received, the razor scooter that would go on to bash my ankles in, the robot dog that

tipped over at the slightest bump, the eerie Furby that turned on in the middle of the night,

the glorious shine of a holographic Pokemon card.

...