Want More Than A Situationship? DO NOT CHASE; Do THIS Instead | Matt Monday
Love Life With Matthew Hussey
Matthew Hussey
4.7 • 3.1K Ratings
🗓️ 30 April 2024
⏱️ 11 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
When we like someone, it’s tempting to move fast, let our emotions take over and simply do what feels good. But in this frenzy of excitement we can inadvertently end up on a path we don’t want to be on… In this clip I answer a question from someone who didn’t want to repeat the last 2 years of her life, which she spent in a ‘friends with benefits’ situation.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The love bomber is just indulging their feelings without any regard for the consequences of how that might feel to somebody else or a clip from the archives that I think is really going to help you today. |
| 0:40.4 | Check it out and I'll speak to you at the end of the episode. |
| 0:47.3 | This month I had a question from one of my Love Life Club members who asked whether it was |
| 0:52.7 | advisable to sleep with a guy after a second date. |
| 0:57.0 | Now she did also caveat this by saying I am coming off the back of two years in a Friends |
| 1:04.2 | with Benefits situation that I don't want to repeat. So here's what I hear in this. I hear someone who has slipped into a |
| 1:15.1 | dynamic with someone where she's sleeping with him regularly or every time they see each other at |
| 1:21.6 | least, but it's not progressing. And that's probably a dynamic that she ignored very early on in that situation. And I also |
| 1:31.8 | hear someone who is looking for something serious in her life. She wants a real relationship where |
| 1:39.1 | she can be intentional. Now, I think sometimes the argument of can you sleep with someone on a first date |
| 1:48.0 | or a second date quickly becomes this almost political gendered thing that becomes quite a misnomer. |
| 1:56.0 | Hopefully, all of us here in this particular space can agree that it doesn't matter from the point of view |
| 2:02.9 | of can you, is it okay to, whether you sleep with someone after one drink or six months? I don't |
| 2:11.5 | have an opinion on that other than, of course, it's okay. There are plenty of people who have had |
| 2:16.1 | long-term relationships that had |
| 2:17.7 | sex on the first night. The question is, does it serve you? And does it serve the path that you |
| 2:25.0 | want to be on? Now, I just said that why I picked up from this question is that this person |
| 2:29.3 | is being intentional about wanting to find a relationship. So what we have to do then is ask ourselves, |
| 2:35.0 | is what I'm doing the behavior of someone who is being intentional? |
| 2:41.0 | Does that communicate to someone else and to myself that I'm being intentional? |
| 2:47.0 | I recently was in my local coffee shop and there was a guy in there in his mid-20s, really lovely guy who recognized me and started speaking to me. |
| 2:56.6 | He started telling me about this person that he's dating and how, because he really likes her, even though inside there's all these feelings he has about this person and he might want to |
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